The good, the bad and ...I'm ugly.

The Bad News is: I don't blog anymore. It's true. I'm sorry. I miss it.

The Good News is: I'm working! (errr...or is that the bad news?) Actually this is very good. I'm serving a purpose in this world, YEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!! Yes, the purpose is to market FEAR to the world in hopes that they will purchase liability insurance from my company, but nevertheless, it's helping people realize their fears (even if we created them) and sheesh...that's practically community service! (hmmm...maybe I should put that on my resume) I'm such a giver. ;)

This time you get the Good News first: I like my job! I'm making good money and the commute only sucks a little and not a lot. I used to work with this guy who would drive like 2 and a half hours to get to work from the Eastern shore. And that was to work at that shithole place i was employed by before this. He was a little off-kilter I think though. So I suppose it could be worse. I certainly have gotten a bit of reading in. I'm reading two things at once now depending on my moods (that swing rapidly): Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (yes...I'm in training for November 18th!) and a "You're dysfunctional and you're never going to change, but read this book and maybe you will suck a little less and people might like you one day" by Dr. Fixyerself. ;) That's not the real name of the book, but you get the general point...I'm in a constant state of either crisis or recovery, and this is the treatment of my choice. Amazon.com probably has a coexisting file with the FBI that's tagged me on their "watch list" for strange combination purchases: self help books, true crime and sorcerer's magic. ;) Cuckoo!

The Bad News: Not all my transportation issues are so peachy. On a more "Lauraish" note...I want to strangle everyone at Erie Insurance. Two weeks ago, some jackass creamed my car and mashed and tore the entire back end and then did what any good American would do: RAN. I wasn't in the car, I came home to find it like that at 12:30am, and I actually didn't think it was my car, I was in such disbelief. I said, "Is that my car? That's not MY car. Wow that sucks." Wellllllll it was. Who does that? Who destroys your vehicle and runs except drunks and punks? Ugh. So the police had to come and give me a report (I doubt they will be putting the crime scene team on this case) and then dropped it off at Honda the next day because Erie requests that you drop it off right away with the body shop if its undriveable. It probably was not legal to drive it like that, the back end was peeled out and sticking out about a foot from the car. So I drop it off for an estimate. Erie is SUPPOSED to arrange for me to have a rental car, but they ask me to do it myself (by the way, there is no discount for this 'self-service' plan). So I go two days with no car and go to pick up the rental at Enterprise in Glen Burnie, and Erie had changed the reservation to Crofton and didn't tell me. So Enterprise had no car for me. In desperation for a VEHICLE, I took a cherry red Jeep Liberty they did have. The estimator finally went to Honda on Monday the 17th (mind you, the accident happened on the 12th) and estimated 5 days for repair and no more. Erie would cover the cost of the rental for 5 days from the 18th. That's today (25th), and not a day longer. After that it was the repair shop's liability to cover the rental. SO...$60 in gasoline later (and I take public transit to and from work!) I am hating this Jeep and wanting my car back. It slides all over the road...I am going to die...I am a terrible driver. So I call Honda, thinking, SURELY they are done, they have had the car for almost 2 weeks, and they are not done. I tell them I need a loaner car. They say, take it up with your insurance company, we don't do that. I said, but the adjuster estimated 5 days and Honda man said, he INCORRECTLY estimated 5 days in LABOR hours and didn't count time to order parts and dry time, etc, so too bad, so sad sweetie. I call the estimator and tell him I need an extension and that my car wont be ready until Friday (this is a lot of calls isn't it?). He leaves me a message this morning saying, tough shit, they had enough time, take it up with them, have that car back today or pay for it yourself. Here's the cherry on top of this sundae...the rental place closes at 6pm. I don't even leave DC until 6pm and I cant take off of work. So I have to drop everything in the after hours drop box. I call Enterprise to see what I can do about turning in the car and will I owe, or will Erie cover the cost since they changed the reservation on me? They tell me that Erie is not covering the $5 a day extra, and I have to pay that over the phone before I return the vehicle. I call the estimator again to say, WTF?! and he says: That was your decision to upgrade, you should have left GB and gone to Crofton where we changed your reservation to {without asking you...and even though they are only open for, I SWEAR it must be, 15 minutes a day and they don't tell you which 15 mins... and it takes that long to even get to Crofton!}. I said: I HATE YOU! YOU'RE UGLY! and hung up. Just kiddin, I didn't say that but I do hate him and I imagine he is unattractive. He lives in Glen Burnie ;)

Ok rant over...whew...I had to get that out. So yeah, tonight I'm returning the car after hours and I won't have a vehicle for at least 3 more days. I'm gonna be out there thumbin for rides. Hopefully, the dickhead who hit my car will pick me up and then I can force him to crash his car, while I, knowing this is going to happen, throw myself from the vehicle and roll like Starsky n' Hutch...to my safety...sustaining NO road rash :) They have training for that you see, but it doesn't look that hard. I will also get into the car through the passenger's side window like on Dukes of Hazard, just to throw him off. I hate him too by the way. And I KNOW he's ugly. On the inside.

The Bad News is: I just got this office-wide email: "It is now that time of year and due to the drop in exterior temperature it is necessary that we turn the heat on in the building. We will be activating both the duct heaters and baseboard heaters located in the perimeter offices. We ask that everything be removed immediately from the top and surrounding area of the baseboard heaters. You may also consider relocating any live plants in close proximity to these heaters. It is not unusual for the activation of the heaters to be accompanied by an odor caused from dust burning off the coils. This will probably happen for the first couple of days the heaters are running."

The Good news is: I'm a sweater and I LOVE strange odors! Mmmm can't wait. Can I borrow a fan and some Frebreeze anyone?

The Bad News is: I am broken out and I feel really ugly today. I'm such a woman.

The Good News is: I have a big bottle of Premsyn PMS, a heating pad, and a ginormous chocolate chip cookie in my desk drawer. I think I hear it calling to me...

Ok that's about all I got for ya bloggies. Booooriiiiing, I know. :) Wanted to touch base in here though with my loyal savants...whoops, I mean servants. I'll leave you with some good lyrics...


Better Together
Jack Johnson

There's no combination of words
I could put on the back of a postcard
No song I could sing
But I can try for your heart
Our dreams, and they are made out of real things
Like a, shoebox of photographs
With sepiatone loving
Love is the answer,
At least for most of the questions in my heart
Like why are we here? and where do we go?
And how come we're so hard?
It's not always easy and
Sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing its always better when we're together

MMM its always better when we're together
Look at the stars when we're together
Its always better when we're together
Yeah, its always better when we're together

And all of these moments
Just might find there way into my dreams tonight
But I know that theyll be gone
When the morning light sings
And brings new things
But tomorrow night you see
That theyll be gone too
Too many things I have to do
But if all of these dreams might find there way
Into my day to day scene
Ill be under the impression
I was somewhere in between
With only two
Just me and you
Not so many things we got to do
Or places we got to be
We'll sit beneath the mango tree

Its always better when we're together
Somewhere in between together
Its always better when we're together
Yeah, its always better when we're together

MMmmmm MMMmmmm Mmmmmm
I believe in memories
They look so, so pretty when I sleep
Hey now, and when I wake up,
You look so pretty sleeping next to me
But there is no time,
And there is no song I could sing
And there is no, combination of words I could say
But I will still tell you one thing
We're better together.

I'm Devastated!!!!

Ok so maybe that's an exaggeration, but it's close. My eyes are puffy and my cheeks are tear streaked. My nose is stuffy and there's tissues strewn copiously about.

It's over. I finished Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince this morning. :( I had to just backtrack and erase what I just wrote, because it was the sad ending to Book 6. I thought the better of it, just in case someone here hasn't finished reading it, although I think I am close to the last person on this planet who is an HP fan who's just now finished it. I DEFINITELY know I'm the only person in this planet who actually went and got it at midnight the day it was released and have just now bothered to finish it. Whoops.

I had have a busy few months to say the least! But, my long train rides made for a good chance to get down to business. Wow. I have been whimpering all morning. Ok...I cried like a baby! Just call me Moaning Myrtle! I am in shock. Those of you who were abusing me to finish the book, I've done it and by now you probably are past discussing it, but should you change your mind, I'd love to talk about it...If you don't mind the crying and feeble attempts to cast simple spells like: Repairo! and Lumos! and my favorite: Accio...! It's great in theory for lazy people like me who want things brought magically to them. ;) I'll never give up! I can't be just a Muggle!

Sigh...I feel like I need to be held or something. Maybe I should go home and mourn. Everyone gave me a pretty fair warning that I might be a bit melancholy after reading that amazing book, but alas...nothing is quite like feeling it for yourself. For all you non-Harry Potter readers on here:
1) I pity you. Get with the program! It's not jumping on the bandwagon, its joining an elite and creative club and introducing your mind and your senses to something so incredible...you'll wonder how you went so long not having been a part of it.
2) I'm not insane. ;)

Ok...Now you know I mean business here: COMMENTS PLEASE!!!! Be careful not to reveal too much of the plot on here, you can email me if you want to talk specifically. I have to say thank you to all of you who kept it quiet how the book ended and thank you also to those who warned me to stay off the spoiler sites. I can't believe that I took this long to finish it and yet I was still totally stunned by the climax. Amazing. So, my deepest appreciation to those of you who protected the secrets the Book 6 held. I would have Avada Kadavera!-ed your asses if you had told me though. Im not joking. ;)

Peace love and Harry Potterness to you all! Now I just have to hold out until November 18 for some more HP!!!! The Goblet of Fire!

Get a load of this 'strategery'!

Absolutely hilarious: President Bush's 'Speechalist'

"Doc, it hurts real bad whenever I do this..."

Doc: "Well, don't do that. Now that will be $100."

Guess what? A new Washington Post "study" shows that blogging is therapeutic! Oh yippee...so we're all "normal" afterall! Golly that's the best news I've gotten in a long time. ;) Check it out: BLOG!

And on that note...some funnies.

And in the spirit of song lyrics and the journey towards mental health...more lyrics.

Song of the Day: She's Always a Woman - Billy Joel

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make...

Here are some of my favorite song lyrics...words to live by. The title, my credo. Oh and...that's the Beatles. ;)


All lies and jest, still, a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest. - Simon and Garfunkel, The Boxer

Before you accuse me take a look at yourself. - Bo Diddley; Creedance Clearwater Revival; Eric Clapton, Before You Accuse Me

Bent out of shape from society's pliers, cares not to come up any higher, but rather get you down in the hole that he's in. - Bob Dylan, It's Alright, Ma

Different strokes for different folks, and so on and so on and scooby dooby dooby. - Sly and the Family Stone, Everyday People

Don't ask me what I think of you, I might not give the answer that you want me to. - Fleetwood Mac, Oh Well

It seems to me some fine things have been laid upon your table, but you only want the ones that you can't have. - The Eagles, Desperado

Even the genius asks questions. - 2 Pac, Me Against The World

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end. - Semisonic, Closing Time

Fathers be good to your daughters, daughters will love like you do. Girls become lovers, who turn into mothers, so mothers be good to your daughters, too. - John Mayer, Daughters

Fear is the lock and laughter the key to your heart. - Crosby, Stills, and Nash, Suite: Judy Blue Eyes

For what is a man, what has he got? If not himself, then he has naught. To say the things he truly feels, and not the words of one who kneels. - Paul Anka; Frank Sinatra; Elvis Presley, My Way

I gotta peaceful, easy feeling, and I know you won’t let me down’ cause I’m already standing on the ground - The Eagles, Peaceful Easy Feeling

Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose. Nothing ain't nothing, but it's free. - Janis Joplin, Me And Bobby McGee

I don't need no money, fortune, or fame. I got all the riches baby, one man can claim. - The Temptations, My Girl

I got a lot to say, I got a lot to say, I got a lot to say. I can't remember now, I can't remember now, I can't remember now. - Ramones, Got Alot To Say

I understand about indecision, but I don't care if I get behind. People living in competition, all I want is to have my peace of mind. - Boston, Peace Of Mind

It's sad, so sad. Why can't we talk it over? Oh it seems to me, that sorry seems to be the hardest word. - Elton John, Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word

I was born with a plastic spoon in my mouth. - The Who, Substitute

When you’re feeling love’s unfair, you just ask the lonely. When you’re lost in deep despair, you just ask the lonely. -Journey, Ask the Lonely

A woman is like a dresser, some man always running through it’s drawers. - Cream, Four Until Late

If we were blind and had no choice, would we hate each other by the tone of our voice? -Anthrax, Schism

If we weren't all crazy we would go insane. - Jimmy Buffett, Changes In Latitudes, Changes In Attitudes

If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice. - Rush, Freewill

If you smile at me I will understand, cause that is something everybody everywhere does in the same language. - Crosby, Stills, and Nash; Jefferson Airplane, Wooden Ships

I'm not a number. Dammit, I'm a man. - Bob Seger, Feel Like A Number

I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free. - Lee Greenwood, God Bless The USA

It's better to burn out, than to fade away. - Neil Young, My My, Hey Hey

We are Young. Heartache to heartache we stand. No promises no demands. Love is a battlefield. - Pat Benatar, Love Is A Battlefield

Love when you can, cry when you have to, be who you must, that's a part of the plan. Await your arrival with simple survival, and one day we'll all understand. - Dan Fogelberg, Part Of The Plan

God gave rock and roll to you, gave rock and roll to you. Put it in the soul of everyone - KISS, God Gave Rock n' Roll To You

No matter what you do, you'll never run away from you. - Paul Revere and the Raiders, Kicks

Optimism is my best defense. - Rod Stewart, Baby Jane

Our early morning singing song, glibby glub gloopy, nibby nabby noopy, la la la lo lo. Sabba sibby sabba, nooby abba nabba, lee le lo lo. Tooby ooby walla, nooby abba naba. - Hair; Oliver, Good Morning Starshine

Rather die on our feet, than keep living on our knees. - James Brown, Say It Loud - I'm Black And I'm Proud (Part I)

I’m free to do what I want any old time, so love me hold me love me hold me. - The Rolling Stones, I'm Free

So tonight you better stop and rebuild all your ruins, because peace and trust can win the day despite of all your losing. - Led Zeppelin, Immigrant Song

Space ain't man's final frontier, man's final frontier is the soul. - Arrested Development, Man's Final Frontier

Talk about your plenty, talk about your ills, one man gathers what another man spills. - Grateful Dead, St. Stephen

The future is so bright that I have got to wear shades. - Timbuk 3, The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades

The swift don't win the race. It goes to the worthy, who can divide the word of truth. - Bob Dylan, I and I

Then one day you find, ten years have got behind you. No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun. - Pink Floyd, Time

There are places I remember all my life, though some have changed. Some forever, not for better, some have gone and some remain. - The Beatles, In My Life

Keep smilin' keep shinin'. Knowing you can always count on me for sure. That's what friends are for. - Dionne Warwick, That's What Friends Are For

Thinking is the best way to travel. - The Moody Blues, The Best Way To Travel

Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees. - Eric Clapton, Tears In Heaven

War is not the answer, because only love can conquer hate. - Marvin Gaye, What's Going On

We learned more from a three minute record than we ever learned in school. - Bruce Springsteen, No Surrender

Well, you don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't spit into the wind. You don't pull on the mask of old Lone Ranger and you don't mess around with Jim. - Jim Croce, You Don't Mess Around With Jim

Where am I to go, now that I've gone too far? - Golden Earring, Twilight Zone

You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometime you just might find, you get what you need. - The Rolling Stones, You Can't Always Get What You Want

You don't have to be old to be wise. - Judas Priest, You Don't Have To Be Old To Be Wise

You got to know when to hold them, know when to fold them, know when to walk away, and know when to run. - Kenny Rogers, The Gambler

You rise as high as your dominant aspiration, you descend to the level of your lowest concept of yourself. Free your mind and your ass will follow. - Funkadelic, Good Thoughts, Bad Thoughts

You would think with all the genius and the brilliance of these times, we might find a higher purpose and a better use of mind. - Jackson Browne, Say It Isn't True

Don't go for second best baby, put your love to the test. - Madonna, Express Yourself

Just let go. And let it flow, let it flow, let it flow. Everything’s gonna work out right, y’know. - Toni Braxton, Let it Flow

We got the bottle - you got the cup. Come on everybody let’s get ffffff... - Beastie Boys, Brass Monkey

Not Fire, Not Ice

There is not a river wide
Not a mountain high
And neither sin nor evil
Could change how I feel inside
Could change how I feel inside

Not all the strength of the ocean
Not all the heat from the sun, from the sun
Though, others have tried, I just can't deny
For me you are the one
For me you are the one

But true love is priceless
For true love we pay a price
But there's nothing can keep me from loving you
Not fire, no not ice
Not fire, no not ice

Like a hero or the champion
You are the best, you're the best
Like religion or superstition
With you I am blessed
With you I am blessed

Now the river may grow wider
The mountains may reach past the sky
But whether or not you feel the same
My love shall never die
My love shall never die

But true love is give and take
True love is sacrifice
But there's nothing can keep me from loving you
Not fire, no not ice
Not fire, no not ice
Not fire, no not ice

by Ben Harper

The Great Heist

Successfully stolen from your blogs...mwhahahaha (evil laugh...sneer...sneer) ;)

7 Things I Plan To Do Before I Die:
1. get my writing published
2. have a successful loving marriage with a healthy sex life, to my best friend (bonus: other people want to gag when they see us together)
3. buy a house
4. go to Europe
5. have babies
6. mess up said babies
7. be thin

7 Things I Cannot Do:
1. complex math
2. chew on anything cotton (terrible)
3. regularly watch Primetime TV shows
4. save money
5. play an instrument
6. go a week without falling
7. not drink during sporting events

7 Things that Attract Me to the Opposite Sex:
1. sense of humor
2. talent
3. expressiveness
4. eyes
5. smile
6. ability to laugh at himself (and me too!)
7. love of music

7 Things I Say Most Often:
1. omg
2. yikes
3. good lord
4. that's ridiculous
5. whatever
6. I'm sorry :(
7. Opps I crapped my pants! ("cuz I'm wearing them....and I just did")

7 Celebrity Crushes:
1. Colin Ferrell
2. Josh Duhamal (aka Tad Hamilton)
3. Orlando Bloom
4. Topher Grace
5. Will Ferrell (pretty much any guy with the last name Ferrell)
6. The kid who plays Harry Potter - Daniel Radcliffe (yeah...I'm pretty much R Kelly for that one)
7. Jeff Goldblum (hahaha...people get so mad when I say this! I love it!)

7 People I Want to do this List:
1. Linz
2. Dave
3. Eric
4. Erin (sis)
5. Chris (bro)
6. Nikki
7. your mom

Actually...couldnt we just make this a list of people I want to DO and leave it at that? With the exclusion of #'s 4 and 5 (you sickos), the list remains the same here. ;) Oh also...add Heather ;)

I'm missing you all very much!