Guess how many Weight Watchers points is in a (hmm let me consult the menu)...Jumbo half-smoke with mustard, onions and of course, firey chili?
Second question: How many bottles of Extra Strength Pepto Bismal is it going to take me to level out after one of those bad-boys?
Now, refigure your answers to questions 1 and 2, adding a chili cheese fries. :P
Now, add to that a chocolate milkshake, two Angina pills and some sort of upper to bring me out of the chili-induced coma I'll be in, and that's what I have to look forward to tonight! WOO HOO!
So as you might have guessed...I'm going to Ben's Chili Bowl tonight. For those of you are unfamiliar with Ben's (and for those of you who are going to scream in vegetarian horror...JEANNA), it's a long running, heart-attack friendly hot dog shop in Northwest Washington, DC. This establishment, as Dave's friend Reuben likes to say, is legitimate. It's the favorite fast food stop for famous bruthas such as Bill Cosby and Denzel Washington. In fact, one or both of them worked there! Being very near to everything in NW, including the Howard University campus, as you can guess the clientele is quite eclectic. :) It will be even MORE SO tonight when thelauralee goes in and cleans that joint OUT! Ya heard? ;)
Some of you (those closest to me...And some EVEN CLOSER) might recall the last time I had Ben's Chili Bowl...The next day was the 2005 WHFestival in Baltimore. I had to stop three times in random bathrooms on the way to the stadium just to RECTify the situation and sooth the havoc Ben's can wreak on the human digestive system. Yes bloggies, I'm actually talking about poop on my blog. Those of you who know me know how staunchly adverse I am to the mere mention of poops and farts, let alone JOKES about them...so this is no laughing matter. Ben's will graciously burn a hole right in your ass and leave you asking for more. Of course it's been over a year since I've been back, and there is probably some reason for that...oh right...the diet. Oh and my asshole asked me not to go back for 365 days. I obliged.
To be honest, I'm probably going to get something a little less fatal and go for either the turkey burger or the JUMBO turkey hotdog, which they affectionately refer to as 'The Big One!" at Ben's. Mmmm y'all know how badly I'm hurtin for The Big One, dontcha? ;) wink wink. Also, I would like to point out Ben's liberal use of the measurement referred to as a "load". According to Dave, this is an exact measurement (ie: covered with 'loads' of hot delicious chili). I also find it intriguing that Ben's will sell their 'chili' by the GALLON as well! I'm thinking of getting a gallon or so, seeing as how Drano has become so expensive, and my long ratty hair has a tendency to regularly clog drains. $10.00 in chili could save me a $250 security deposit somewhere! That's just smart math! (right Lindsay?)
So wish me luck at Ben's! Hey...aren't you going to ask why we're going to Ben's??? Ok I'll tell ya ;) We're going to a show at the 9:30 Club. The band is called The White Buffalo. You know, the name of this band reminds me of a really disgusting saying that I've heard a particularly perverted and VERBOSE young man say to me before and that is: "I'm so horny I could shampoo a buffalo." I wonder if he meant The White Buffalo? Eww God I hope not. I don't think this guy would like it: The White Buffalo I mean he looks like a scraggly hippy but I doubt he wants THAT. Only I like things like that, because I'm a dirty whore! haha ;) jk Anyway-- back on topic...they are supposedly a folky-funky jam band that I'm going to like (I am assured). I have never seen them, but I am looking forward to broadening my horizons and jammin out. I'm also looking forward to having my purse searched for drugs at the door to the 9:30 Club, and having them see how pathetic I am when all they discover are 5 rolls of unopened chewable Rolaids. Mmmmm I'm getting high on bismuth tonight baby! haha Top off a lil Ben's with a couple Bud drafts and I'll be spewing all over The White Buffalo man myself! Ewww....
Ok-- I'm going to save y'all from a RAGING case of motor-mouth and the inability to avoid a stream of consciousness here and sign off. BUTT, I wanted to give you a chance to wish me (and my hineyhole) a safe and happy trip to Ben's :) Mmmmm delicious!
Check it out! Ben's Chili Bowl
(cue fart noises....)
Second question: How many bottles of Extra Strength Pepto Bismal is it going to take me to level out after one of those bad-boys?
Now, refigure your answers to questions 1 and 2, adding a chili cheese fries. :P
Now, add to that a chocolate milkshake, two Angina pills and some sort of upper to bring me out of the chili-induced coma I'll be in, and that's what I have to look forward to tonight! WOO HOO!
So as you might have guessed...I'm going to Ben's Chili Bowl tonight. For those of you are unfamiliar with Ben's (and for those of you who are going to scream in vegetarian horror...JEANNA), it's a long running, heart-attack friendly hot dog shop in Northwest Washington, DC. This establishment, as Dave's friend Reuben likes to say, is legitimate. It's the favorite fast food stop for famous bruthas such as Bill Cosby and Denzel Washington. In fact, one or both of them worked there! Being very near to everything in NW, including the Howard University campus, as you can guess the clientele is quite eclectic. :) It will be even MORE SO tonight when thelauralee goes in and cleans that joint OUT! Ya heard? ;)
Some of you (those closest to me...And some EVEN CLOSER) might recall the last time I had Ben's Chili Bowl...The next day was the 2005 WHFestival in Baltimore. I had to stop three times in random bathrooms on the way to the stadium just to RECTify the situation and sooth the havoc Ben's can wreak on the human digestive system. Yes bloggies, I'm actually talking about poop on my blog. Those of you who know me know how staunchly adverse I am to the mere mention of poops and farts, let alone JOKES about them...so this is no laughing matter. Ben's will graciously burn a hole right in your ass and leave you asking for more. Of course it's been over a year since I've been back, and there is probably some reason for that...oh right...the diet. Oh and my asshole asked me not to go back for 365 days. I obliged.
To be honest, I'm probably going to get something a little less fatal and go for either the turkey burger or the JUMBO turkey hotdog, which they affectionately refer to as 'The Big One!" at Ben's. Mmmm y'all know how badly I'm hurtin for The Big One, dontcha? ;) wink wink. Also, I would like to point out Ben's liberal use of the measurement referred to as a "load". According to Dave, this is an exact measurement (ie: covered with 'loads' of hot delicious chili). I also find it intriguing that Ben's will sell their 'chili' by the GALLON as well! I'm thinking of getting a gallon or so, seeing as how Drano has become so expensive, and my long ratty hair has a tendency to regularly clog drains. $10.00 in chili could save me a $250 security deposit somewhere! That's just smart math! (right Lindsay?)
So wish me luck at Ben's! Hey...aren't you going to ask why we're going to Ben's??? Ok I'll tell ya ;) We're going to a show at the 9:30 Club. The band is called The White Buffalo. You know, the name of this band reminds me of a really disgusting saying that I've heard a particularly perverted and VERBOSE young man say to me before and that is: "I'm so horny I could shampoo a buffalo." I wonder if he meant The White Buffalo? Eww God I hope not. I don't think this guy would like it: The White Buffalo I mean he looks like a scraggly hippy but I doubt he wants THAT. Only I like things like that, because I'm a dirty whore! haha ;) jk Anyway-- back on topic...they are supposedly a folky-funky jam band that I'm going to like (I am assured). I have never seen them, but I am looking forward to broadening my horizons and jammin out. I'm also looking forward to having my purse searched for drugs at the door to the 9:30 Club, and having them see how pathetic I am when all they discover are 5 rolls of unopened chewable Rolaids. Mmmmm I'm getting high on bismuth tonight baby! haha Top off a lil Ben's with a couple Bud drafts and I'll be spewing all over The White Buffalo man myself! Ewww....
Ok-- I'm going to save y'all from a RAGING case of motor-mouth and the inability to avoid a stream of consciousness here and sign off. BUTT, I wanted to give you a chance to wish me (and my hineyhole) a safe and happy trip to Ben's :) Mmmmm delicious!
Check it out! Ben's Chili Bowl
(cue fart noises....)
8 Comments:
pppppbbbbbbfffffffffttttttttttt.
GOD I LOVE BEN'S!!! evidence?:
[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v624/bailsnyc/camerabackup3-9-05032.jpg[/IMG]
i am so very jealous you're going! though, my bowels will be A-OK tomorrow thank you. and that's something to sing about.
have fun tonite!
um, okay that didnt work. apparently you're not allowed to put pictures of a table with ben's remnants and empty bowls on the comment board. fuckers! what do they have against bens?!?!?
ps. you SO know you arent getting that other shit you mentioned...you're going straight for the jumbo half smoke!!
(don't let me down!)
mmmm I hope ben's was good, I'm still a ben's chilli bowl virgin. Maybe one day you can pop my cherry and take me there. Hope the buffalo produced white stuff all night long and that you had a good time!
You teased us with a few posts in a row. I thought the old LauraLee was back! Don't forget about us out here in cyber land.
And I don't see my link on your sidebar :(
Welcome back! I'm glad to see you back. I've missed you. Now don't go disappearing again.
New layout..... does that mean a new blog is a coming???? That would be great!!!! - Michele
ok, so what's going on? I thought you were going to be blogging again...are you coming back? The blogging world misses you.
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