AHA! You thought I'd disappear didn't you?! Not so fast 'Oh-Negative-One', I got a little bit-o-nothin to share with you on this dreary Monday.
So, today's blog, like I said, is about nothing important. Much like the "news" I hear on Thursday mornings about what happened on LOST Wednesday night, I'm just going to say random opinionated sh*t about nothing really important or factual and call it "news".
THIS JUST IN!
I want to see The DaVinci Code. I can't WAIT to see The DaVinci Code. This movie (and the book... don't forget, it was based on real literature) is the answer to this generation's cries to the media, "GIVE OUR LIVES MEANING, PLEASE! Teach us about art n' culture n' sh*t, but make it fun and somewhat quotable (ie: Seinfeld and The Simpsons)! Put Tom Hanks in it! Let Ron Howard direct it! Who better to teach us about history's 'factual' events, such as Jesus and Apollo 13 (not to be confused with one another), than OPIE from Andy Griffith?" And, NO, he is never going to escape that stigma. No way, Paw. (everybody whistle: Doo doot doot DOOO doo doot doot DOO dootootdoo Doooo doot doo-doo, doot! )
I read the book a few years ago, around the time that it came out. It was recommended to me like so: "Here, you can have this piece of junk if you want. Its on the best-seller list but I found it highly ridiculous, far-fetched, sacrilegious and offensive. It's hard to follow and I felt nervous the entire time I was reading it. Plus, some of the 'art stuff' could really drag on and on. You don't have to return it. As a Catholic, you probably won't like it either, but it's all the rave."
Exsqueeze me? Holy Grail, SIGN ME UP! I won't say who "recommended" it to me, but it's safe to say that considering the source, I took it as a glowing recommendation which I promptly spent 2 days reading non-stop. I loved it. I'm always reading something, so to stumble upon something that actually engaged me, (in the bleak desert of "Oprah's book club"novels) that wasn't the beacon of light that was the latest installment of Harry Potter, was refreshing and exciting. And, let me just tell you, it was NOT hard to follow. I am the biggest brain-candy addict you will find (for example, I consider reading the cereal box front-to-back a 'good read'), and I loved it and found it fascinating. I also realize its FICTION (sorta). ;) I won't go on but a small rant here, but not only did my "recommender" denounce the book as a religious abomination, the Vatican called for a world-wide boycott of the book, claiming it was "an attack on Christianity itself" and raised the question of dangerous rumor-spreading propaganda versus constructive thought provoking best-seller. WHAT?! How are things getting better when the Vatican is denouncing works of FICTION and trying to make sure no one reads it, lest they believe it and turn on the church? Should we go hide in an attic from Pope Carl Marx the II? What f*cking year is this? What a ridiculous waste of time. I actually heard an ad on the radio this morning from some Christian church, that started with a short excerpt read from Dan Brown's The DaVinci Code, after which the pastor quickly explained to all of us, in a Baltimore accent, that what Mr. Brown wrote is WRONG and offensive. Pastor Insane-o asked his audience, "Hello?! Would hundreds of thousands of people died for their religious belief that Jesus was in fact GOD himself if it weren't' true??? I think not, Mr. Brown." Oh, hmmm I never thought of it that way. Im convinced! BURN YOUR BOOKS!!! To be honest, I didn't really even get the point of what this man was arguing. Was it that The DaVinci Code was a great work of fiction about the controversial history of Christianity and the many theories of free-expression associated with it? Oh wow, thanks for the news flash. Thank you also from author, Dan Brown, for paying a couple Gs to advertise his work! He'll be sure to thank you in his fictional, sacrilegious hedonistic prayers. Doo doot doot DOOO doo doot doot DOO dootootdoo Doooo doot doo-doo, doot!
Dan Brown is a genius. Not only did he spread the religious truth (haha, just kidding) he researched art and religion (Christianity and Paganism alike) enough to make this thriller realistic, he picked a hot topic and a literary timeline that's perfect for a country full of A.D.D. sufferers! 24 hours! Fugitives, murder, police-chases, riddles, puzzles, *corporal mortification, albinos, the Cliff's Notes version of the Louvre...what more could a pop-culture enthusiast (aka: an American) ask for? (Besides Tom Hanks) Hello? Can we say, 'work of art'?
Anyway, this wasn't supposed to be a huge rant, it was supposed to be all about me. :) So back on topic. I want to see The DaVinci Code! I'm rereading it on the subway and it's almost intriguing enough for me to make it from New Carrollton to Foggy Bottom without obsessing about the wackos on the train and ALMOST interesting enough that I don't angrily focus on the disgusting smells of these people who know nothing of personal hygiene or sanity. I think those two qualities are in fact related. As one diminish, so does the other. That's the DaLaura Code unraveled.
O Foul Metropolitan Devil!
O Lame Homeless Saint!
So, I'm here to share some interesting information regarding The DaVinici Code official movie website. It's cool! And it won't reveal much about the movie, or the book, should you be reading it currently (eh-hem...Dave). I urge you to check out this clip below...an interview of Ron Howard by the ever so cutesy Katie Couric, about the May 19th release. In it is "unseen footage". I really enjoyed it! Its neato. Plus, like I said, it won't ruin anything even if you aren't done with the book. Well, you have to have read at LEAST the first 70 pages. If you haven't then you might see some stuff that you wont understand because um...YOU HAVEN'T READ THE BOOK YOU ILLITERATE FOOL! Ok, click here for clip.
Also on that site are pictures of the actors that play the key roles. I'd say for the most part they made good choices. Hopefully we will be able to fuse Tom Hanks and Robert Langdon within the first 5 minutes of the movie without thinking, "I luhv yooo Duh-vin-chee! You and me wuz like peas n' carruts". I for one will have to abstain from imagining the theme song from Bosum Buddies or wondering if Langdon will actually FIND the Zoltar wishing machine that gave him the DaVinci Code that subsequently turned him into an 11 year old boy trapped in the body of a over-educated, pathetically single, 45 year old Harvard Professor. But doubt not! I am up to the challenge. :)
So, who's with me? Who's going to rush to the box office on the 19th like a 'TRL loving' lemming? Sign up now...there's apparently a LOT of insane people who want to sit next to me, whether it be on a crowded metro or a packed movie theater. I wanted YOU crazies to have first pick. I only ask that you please have proper hygiene. Thank you. :)
So, today's blog, like I said, is about nothing important. Much like the "news" I hear on Thursday mornings about what happened on LOST Wednesday night, I'm just going to say random opinionated sh*t about nothing really important or factual and call it "news".
THIS JUST IN!
I want to see The DaVinci Code. I can't WAIT to see The DaVinci Code. This movie (and the book... don't forget, it was based on real literature) is the answer to this generation's cries to the media, "GIVE OUR LIVES MEANING, PLEASE! Teach us about art n' culture n' sh*t, but make it fun and somewhat quotable (ie: Seinfeld and The Simpsons)! Put Tom Hanks in it! Let Ron Howard direct it! Who better to teach us about history's 'factual' events, such as Jesus and Apollo 13 (not to be confused with one another), than OPIE from Andy Griffith?" And, NO, he is never going to escape that stigma. No way, Paw. (everybody whistle: Doo doot doot DOOO doo doot doot DOO dootootdoo Doooo doot doo-doo, doot! )I read the book a few years ago, around the time that it came out. It was recommended to me like so: "Here, you can have this piece of junk if you want. Its on the best-seller list but I found it highly ridiculous, far-fetched, sacrilegious and offensive. It's hard to follow and I felt nervous the entire time I was reading it. Plus, some of the 'art stuff' could really drag on and on. You don't have to return it. As a Catholic, you probably won't like it either, but it's all the rave."
Exsqueeze me? Holy Grail, SIGN ME UP! I won't say who "recommended" it to me, but it's safe to say that considering the source, I took it as a glowing recommendation which I promptly spent 2 days reading non-stop. I loved it. I'm always reading something, so to stumble upon something that actually engaged me, (in the bleak desert of "Oprah's book club"novels) that wasn't the beacon of light that was the latest installment of Harry Potter, was refreshing and exciting. And, let me just tell you, it was NOT hard to follow. I am the biggest brain-candy addict you will find (for example, I consider reading the cereal box front-to-back a 'good read'), and I loved it and found it fascinating. I also realize its FICTION (sorta). ;) I won't go on but a small rant here, but not only did my "recommender" denounce the book as a religious abomination, the Vatican called for a world-wide boycott of the book, claiming it was "an attack on Christianity itself" and raised the question of dangerous rumor-spreading propaganda versus constructive thought provoking best-seller. WHAT?! How are things getting better when the Vatican is denouncing works of FICTION and trying to make sure no one reads it, lest they believe it and turn on the church? Should we go hide in an attic from Pope Carl Marx the II? What f*cking year is this? What a ridiculous waste of time. I actually heard an ad on the radio this morning from some Christian church, that started with a short excerpt read from Dan Brown's The DaVinci Code, after which the pastor quickly explained to all of us, in a Baltimore accent, that what Mr. Brown wrote is WRONG and offensive. Pastor Insane-o asked his audience, "Hello?! Would hundreds of thousands of people died for their religious belief that Jesus was in fact GOD himself if it weren't' true??? I think not, Mr. Brown." Oh, hmmm I never thought of it that way. Im convinced! BURN YOUR BOOKS!!! To be honest, I didn't really even get the point of what this man was arguing. Was it that The DaVinci Code was a great work of fiction about the controversial history of Christianity and the many theories of free-expression associated with it? Oh wow, thanks for the news flash. Thank you also from author, Dan Brown, for paying a couple Gs to advertise his work! He'll be sure to thank you in his fictional, sacrilegious hedonistic prayers. Doo doot doot DOOO doo doot doot DOO dootootdoo Doooo doot doo-doo, doot!
Dan Brown is a genius. Not only did he spread the religious truth (haha, just kidding) he researched art and religion (Christianity and Paganism alike) enough to make this thriller realistic, he picked a hot topic and a literary timeline that's perfect for a country full of A.D.D. sufferers! 24 hours! Fugitives, murder, police-chases, riddles, puzzles, *corporal mortification, albinos, the Cliff's Notes version of the Louvre...what more could a pop-culture enthusiast (aka: an American) ask for? (Besides Tom Hanks) Hello? Can we say, 'work of art'?
Anyway, this wasn't supposed to be a huge rant, it was supposed to be all about me. :) So back on topic. I want to see The DaVinci Code! I'm rereading it on the subway and it's almost intriguing enough for me to make it from New Carrollton to Foggy Bottom without obsessing about the wackos on the train and ALMOST interesting enough that I don't angrily focus on the disgusting smells of these people who know nothing of personal hygiene or sanity. I think those two qualities are in fact related. As one diminish, so does the other. That's the DaLaura Code unraveled.
O Foul Metropolitan Devil!
O Lame Homeless Saint!
So, I'm here to share some interesting information regarding The DaVinici Code official movie website. It's cool! And it won't reveal much about the movie, or the book, should you be reading it currently (eh-hem...Dave). I urge you to check out this clip below...an interview of Ron Howard by the ever so cutesy Katie Couric, about the May 19th release. In it is "unseen footage". I really enjoyed it! Its neato. Plus, like I said, it won't ruin anything even if you aren't done with the book. Well, you have to have read at LEAST the first 70 pages. If you haven't then you might see some stuff that you wont understand because um...YOU HAVEN'T READ THE BOOK YOU ILLITERATE FOOL! Ok, click here for clip.
Also on that site are pictures of the actors that play the key roles. I'd say for the most part they made good choices. Hopefully we will be able to fuse Tom Hanks and Robert Langdon within the first 5 minutes of the movie without thinking, "I luhv yooo Duh-vin-chee! You and me wuz like peas n' carruts". I for one will have to abstain from imagining the theme song from Bosum Buddies or wondering if Langdon will actually FIND the Zoltar wishing machine that gave him the DaVinci Code that subsequently turned him into an 11 year old boy trapped in the body of a over-educated, pathetically single, 45 year old Harvard Professor. But doubt not! I am up to the challenge. :)
So, who's with me? Who's going to rush to the box office on the 19th like a 'TRL loving' lemming? Sign up now...there's apparently a LOT of insane people who want to sit next to me, whether it be on a crowded metro or a packed movie theater. I wanted YOU crazies to have first pick. I only ask that you please have proper hygiene. Thank you. :)
*corporal mortification - ie: a cilice
...what a nice accesory!
5 Comments:
PROPER HYGEINE???
Damn, I'm out!
Hi Laura Lee,
It is quite a joke that the Vatican and Catholic Church have the gall to accuse someone of attacking their fantasy and dogma. Remember, this is the same organization that manufactured fake relics and miracles for many centuries. This is the same group of deluded deceivers that makes more noise about a fictional book and movie than about child raping priests or even the Holocaust! Here's my take on it.
Is the world ready for the Truth yet?
Please be forewarned that what I reveal will upset a lot of applecarts and shake a lot of trees, hence the true meaning of the word Apocalypse. Please don't take what I say or do as a personal affront. Be a little patient and read my articles. My purpose is to prove that the truth has long been hidden in various ways. Humanity has been lied to and deluded by religious and political leaders long enough. My aim is to reveal the truth and deliver verifiable wisdom. To do so, I must rattle a lot of cages to wake people out of their nightmares. I come with proof beyond disproof of many things. If you want to be amazed and enlightened, resist the urge to scoff at unfamiliar knowledge and seek to understand the stunning and comprehensive proof I have produced.
Are you familiar with the Seven Spirits of God, the Seven Golden Candlesticks and Wisdom's Seven Pillars in Proverbs 9:1 and their relationship to the Comuninity Rule in the Dead Sea Scrolls and DSS 11Q13? Study the Doctrine of Two Spirits on the front cover of my book and on my web page. I have produced some earth shattering breakthroughs in this area.
The Vatican is proving that seeking the truth is a real threat to their dogma. They're so afraid of people uncovering the truth, that they are attacking another fantasy as a threat to their own deceptions. How enlightening, since this goes a very long way to proving that Christianity is based on lies. If it weren't, they would be confident of surviving intense scrutiny. Since they aren't and since they have gone to such great lengths to suppress those seeking the truth over the centuries, their deceptions are, once again, laid bare for all to see. Only this time they are the ones to walk into a well laid trap...
Did you ever stop to think what the True Messiah (me) would say about worshipping false names, false images, and dogma? Well, now you get the chance to hear my side of the story and weigh it against the strong delusion of faith and religion. None of the European names and images in the New Testament can possibly be the truth. It is beyond obvious that the New Testament is not complete nor even accurate history. What then is the purpose of "faith" but to prevent good people from seeking to understand truth and wisdom?
Visit my website to understand what they are truly afraid of. The Vatican and world leaders have struggled to keep people from understanding the truth and religion is a key tool in their smokescreen. Now, when I appear on the scene, everyone is seeking to understand their ages-old deceptions, and I have produced stunning and comprehensive proof. The time has come for the "earth to quake" and the liars to "gnaw their tongues for pain." (this is symbolism decoded in the book...)
The time has come for the Vatican and world leaders to learn the truth about Karma...
If you truly want to understand the symbology, ancient wisdom, and ancient history that neither the DaVinci Code nor Christianity have portrayed accurately or fully, then download and read my FREE E-Book. I am not trying to make money from book sales, quite the opposite in fact..
Here is Wisdom!!
WOW! Now why can't my friends leave comments that long? I have to wait to get this from a guy who refers to HIMSELF as a the Messiah. Why can't you all take yourselves that seriously?
Anyway, read it while you can because Im going ot delete it later because he used my blog to spread his OWN religious bullshit which makes him no better than the Vatican he's criticizing.
Anyone else want to shed some light on "the truth" for me? I can't really think for myself, so some guidance would be appreciated. I'm kind of an elitist though, so MESSIAHS only please. Thanks.
Obviously the Catholic Church, Jesus Christ, and our very existence itself is just an illusion created by David Copperfield to one up David Blaine. Open your eyes!!! The whole thing will air on Fox in the fall.
"I am not trying to make money from book sales, quite the opposite in fact.."
Sorry I missed this at first. Does this mean he is trying to give away money through book sales???? Sign me up for this guy's cult if he is. I'm just not drinking the kool-aid.
Post a Comment
<< Home