"Wheezylee Does The Big Apple" by Laura Lee
Exhibit A:
Exhibit B:
arrived in my phreakylee yahoo email this weekend via Sprint PCS, with two voice memos attached. Here is a transcript of Exhibit A's voice tag:
High-ther: (apparently calling me and recording herself at the same time) you're not f*cking picking up!!! (inaudible slur)
Wheezylee: do you really even understand what the meaning of the F word IS?
High-ther: HAA YA HAAAhaaa [deep inhale]
Wheezylee: (inaudible grunt) not literally but like meaningful... huh huh -->deep dorky traditional Lee laugh
Transcript of photo B's voice tag:
High-ther: hello babeeee ...I luuv yoooooou!!!
Wheezylee: (in high pitched voice making fun of HH)But I thought you werent coming!
High-ther: AhhhhAHAHA yuk yuk yuk! (hi pitched inhale)
Ok...am I supposed to know what all that means? I'll tell you this...I can see the wheezy- one was making fun of you a lot in those messages HH. Don't put up with that! She can be a mean little shit when she's drunk! ;) haha It's scary...drunk as hell and still sharp as a tack. We're different...I'm the goofy touchy drunk...but we have this in common: We'll always fall at LEAST once when we're drunk. But alas...you still can never replace thelauralee with thewheezylee. Nice try though ;)
I dont have a memory transcript of our 1am phone call Friday night, but I do recall LOTS of cussing, lots of laughing, lots of slurring and a 20 minute tutorial on baby sign language from Erin telling me how shes going to teach her kids to say "more" "poop" and "I love you". I cant wait to meet those kids and do baby sign language with them. haha Drunk ass. Babies just wanna eat, sleep, poop, play and be loved. Just like the rest of us. No sign language needed there.
So thanks girls for the continual contact throughout the festivities. You both look really pretty. :) I bet you got a lot more male action with Erin than you did when you go out with me Heather...though Erin prolly wasnt kissing bouncers outside of Tribe. (I am assuming thats where Exhibit B was taken...looks like it).
This might be the only blog today, given I dont have anything to say that anyone else on this planet would be interested in. Read Nikki's blog...she will fill ya in. We did go to Ikea and we spent, spent spent. Got some nice stuff. House coming together nicely...yada yada blah blah blah...I'm just going through the motions. She'll prolly also tell you about how we super-sleuthed around to every dumpster in "O-ding-ton" to share the wealth of 4000 empty boxes, how I slipped in cat poo outside one of them, gagged profusely and then splashed cat poo water on my pants and then fell against the dumpster and injured myself. hmmmm then maybe she'll regale you with a tale of thelauralee putting together the entire upstairs entertainment center on Sunday and crying while doing it pretty much all day long (haha) sad clown. Though, we are now "hard wired for massive entertainment". Thank you York College for awarding this crybaby a Mass Comm degree...I knew it would come in handy ONE day.
ok...I'm off to stare at the wall for 5 hours and then build next years advertising plan in the last 15 mins of the day ;) Just a few items of food for thought...
ac·cep·tance [ ak sépt tanss ]noun
1. saying yes: a written or verbal indication that somebody agrees to an invitation
2. taking of a gift: the willing receipt of a gift or payment
3. willingness to believe: willingness to believe that something is true
4. coming to terms with something: the realization of a fact or truth resulting in somebodys coming to terms with it
5. toleration: the tolerating of something without protesting
6. social tolerance: willingness to treat somebody as a member of a group or social circle
7. positive response to application: an offer to allow somebody to join an organization or attend an institution
8. law commerce agreement to terms: formal agreement, in writing or verbally, showing that somebody assents to the terms and conditions in a contract
9. commerce agreement to pay: a formal agreement by a debtor to pay a draft or bill of exchange when it becomes payable
damn did you know there were 9 definitions of that word? Hmmmm....yeah...I'm not there yet ;)
Song of the Day:
True - Ryan Cabrera (who else loves this song? was it written just for me?) ;)
Epilogue (a tasty IM treat from 2 sisters!):
MagicLeeDlishous: youre not talking to me enuff on here
MagicLeeDlishous: ugh... im BORED!
MagicLeeDlishous: i need a friend
MagicLeeDlishous: and something to do... cant go out in CP b/c im the only loser here
phreakylee: oh hang out with me!
phreakylee: i wish i could leave work...
MagicLeeDlishous: i could show u the cool shit i bought in NY
MagicLeeDlishous: DO IT!
MagicLeeDlishous: get diarrhea and leave
MagicLeeDlishous: i want to tell you about my trip
MagicLeeDlishous: we met up with kevins friend jessie and her BF yesterday and we went to soho and then to barneys
MagicLeeDlishous: we get there her friend works the FRESH counter for sephora and we got all these free samples in a barneys bag. He was like...."ohhhhh i want to go upstairs and look with you guys...I have diarrhea...im coming. they wont miss me"
MagicLeeDlishous: i bought some makeup at mac...really cool ass makeup... they were like...this will look great on you... and we went to H&M and put outfits together that we saw at barneys but for hundreds less...
phreakylee: cool
MagicLeeDlishous: me and the gay guy made kevin buy one of those cool blazers for guys
phreakylee: i love H&M!!! Its my fav.
MagicLeeDlishous: yeah it was great... i love H&M... its good that we have them around here b/c dressing kevin is fun b/c his body is like a manaken
phreakylee: hahahaha, "manaken"?
phreakylee: it's mannequin
phreakylee: haha
phreakylee: thats going in my blog--that was good
MagicLeeDlishous: how do you spell it?
phreakylee: mannequin
MagicLeeDlishous: what? seriously?
MagicLeeDlishous: quin?
MagicLeeDlishous: lets ask kim cattrell
phreakylee: yes! lets!
Nothings Gonna Stop Us - Starship
*the closing song from the movie Mannequin with Andrew McCarthy And Kim Catrell (I love the 80's! "Hollywoooooood!")
8 Comments:
exhibit B was taken at Blue and Gold. $3 shots and irish car bombs baby! (erin and kevin raced, erin won! that lush...haha) will comment more as i read...
ps. that pic in exhibit B is erin doing an impression of you! ask me what, i dont know, bc i was HA-MERD. but i'm sure she can fill you in. it took a couple takes to get the expression just right...
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHH! That was me doing an impression of Laura period. That is her face that she makes when something is sadly displeasing to her. She raises her eyebrows and drops her mouth and a sad Kip-esque (napoleon dynamite reference) noise comes out...sometimes with words. Usually it goes like this...[gasp with the face]"whaaAAAAAT?". Take note as to how the pitch increases as the, "what", is prolonged. That's Laura's sadly disappointed face in a nutshell. ~"whaaaAAATT? It's CLOSED!?!"~ That was just to help you all visualize it better but I know you all know what Im talking about. I dont even know what HH and me were talking about in most of those things. I have NO idea what the F-word thing is but I DO remember the baby sign language! Can I just say that baby sign language is amazing and incredibly useful. Babies go crazy and cry b/c they cant communicate and they're frustrated b/c they want some more damn cheerios! OK MOM! GIMME SOMEMORE GOD DAMN PEAS! So that comes out as a shreak but if the baby knew the sign for more he/she could say more and they would get their peas. Orrr if they are tired of sitting in their crap they can tell mommy. Think about it. They cant talk and we cant read their minds. True they dont need much but this allows them to TELL you! I just think that its amazing and it has PROVEN to have less crying slash head spinning peas soup shooting baby freakouts.
peace out
the last post is only from the funniest person in the world, Erin. "there's no way anyone could even know that..."
WhaaaaAAATTT??? I really don’t know which face you mean Wheezylee. I suppose you've seen more of me than anyone so you'd know though. I should have known you were making fun of me, you bitches! Duh! and then I post the photographic evidence of it on my own damn blog!
SAD CLOWN!!! SAD CLOWN!!!
I want some more goddamn peas! Will you at least teach ME the signs too so that I can use them with your genius signing babies when I baby-sit their bratty asses?
i think it is important to include a definition in each blog. funny site.
YOU ARE PUTTING ME UNDER SO MUCH PRESSURE TO BLOG! Ok, more to come later.
Nik
Some post, once again. I don't recall you making out with Bouncers the last time you were in town! Was I just hammered? hahaha. Possibly. I do recall something to that effect. Please help me restore my foggy memory. Song of the day. Great one, the first one. Didn't check out the second. Who are these peeps who keep liking your blog? and heather's for that matter. I don't get any of that. Maybe that is not a bad thing. Still, it's kinda fun.
Post a Comment
<< Home