Me Chinese, me play trick, me put on a rubber dick!
I'm seriously going to need to (put on a rubber dick that is) the way my female to female interaction has skyrocketed lately and the male on ME ratio has plummeted. The Dow is higher than my hopes of having a non-self induced "Big O" anytime soon. The price of gasoline is likely to go down before I will again...bah dump dump tttchhh!!! (drum and cymbal noise of course...I had to sound that one out for the proper onomatopoeia)
Yes, yes...I'm inappropriate.
"OMG Laura, I can't believe the stuff you write on your blog! Gross! Vulgar! One minute you're talking about the joys of motherhood and congratulating your friends on child birth and the other you're talking about dildos or bodily functions...you are TOO MUCH girl!"
If I had a nickel for every time I heard that...I wouldn't be stealing wireless internet service, now would I? More on this later, tater...
My cold has broken...I am sneezy and stuffy and I dumped a whole cup of coffee down my boob this morning. My tit is freezing now (the left one) ;) This calamity of the day is actually not a symptom of my illness (at least not THIS illness).
Thanks to the Juice for this gross display of immaturity above (me Chinese). Fairly sure this was taken via 'crappy Sprint phone' on H's most recent visit in February...ahhh yes, it was Superbowl weekend where she did that lady-like yackity-yak on 295. :) good times, good times...
Stay tuned later today for a "new house" incident blog...
*oh side note here; I was looking up how to spell 'onomatopoeia' (fairly unsuccessfully I might add) and I found two other words that I liked that I will share with you:
onanism (n):
1) masterbation
2) coitus interuptus (this mighta been what I did to NW and Darb last night)
Early 18th century. Named for Onan, a character in the Bible (Genesis 38:9), who spilled his semen onto the ground rather than impregnate his deceased brother's wife. (what an assh*le! talk about taking masterbation to a anti-social extreme! Give that girl summa the family sauce already!)
onomatomania (n): obsession with particular words: an obsession with certain words and the repeated intrusion of them into the mind
In a sentence: "I find Laura's onomatomania with the word 'c*cksucker' offensive, but I love her anyway." - quoth every person who has ever come in contact with thelauralee
I'm seriously going to need to (put on a rubber dick that is) the way my female to female interaction has skyrocketed lately and the male on ME ratio has plummeted. The Dow is higher than my hopes of having a non-self induced "Big O" anytime soon. The price of gasoline is likely to go down before I will again...bah dump dump tttchhh!!! (drum and cymbal noise of course...I had to sound that one out for the proper onomatopoeia)
Yes, yes...I'm inappropriate.
"OMG Laura, I can't believe the stuff you write on your blog! Gross! Vulgar! One minute you're talking about the joys of motherhood and congratulating your friends on child birth and the other you're talking about dildos or bodily functions...you are TOO MUCH girl!"
If I had a nickel for every time I heard that...I wouldn't be stealing wireless internet service, now would I? More on this later, tater...
My cold has broken...I am sneezy and stuffy and I dumped a whole cup of coffee down my boob this morning. My tit is freezing now (the left one) ;) This calamity of the day is actually not a symptom of my illness (at least not THIS illness).
Thanks to the Juice for this gross display of immaturity above (me Chinese). Fairly sure this was taken via 'crappy Sprint phone' on H's most recent visit in February...ahhh yes, it was Superbowl weekend where she did that lady-like yackity-yak on 295. :) good times, good times...
Stay tuned later today for a "new house" incident blog...
*oh side note here; I was looking up how to spell 'onomatopoeia' (fairly unsuccessfully I might add) and I found two other words that I liked that I will share with you:
onanism (n):
1) masterbation
2) coitus interuptus (this mighta been what I did to NW and Darb last night)
Early 18th century. Named for Onan, a character in the Bible (Genesis 38:9), who spilled his semen onto the ground rather than impregnate his deceased brother's wife. (what an assh*le! talk about taking masterbation to a anti-social extreme! Give that girl summa the family sauce already!)
onomatomania (n): obsession with particular words: an obsession with certain words and the repeated intrusion of them into the mind
In a sentence: "I find Laura's onomatomania with the word 'c*cksucker' offensive, but I love her anyway." - quoth every person who has ever come in contact with thelauralee
2 Comments:
you know, i think I'M gonna start talking about semen, masterbation, and coitus in my blog too! "but mommy, laura's doing iiiiit!?"
that weekend WAS good times all around. particularly the crying/yacking fit out the car door. choice memories...love all around...sigh...
so onanism is both playing with yourself AND interrupting sex? i'm confused...please expand oh great teacher of all things sexual...
Dearest Heather…It's when you interrupt sex with someone else to have sex with yourself. It’s masturbation gone awry. It's a form of narcissism. So sad really...
Actually I also think that it's another version of "cutting your nose of to spite your face" (you know I had to use a cliché here...it's my trade mark). BUT, much like the dude from Genesis (the bible…not the band with Phil Collins), you'd rather spill your 'seed' on the Berber carpet than in your sister in law. Makes sense to me. I frankly don't care where you spill it but if it's on my floor I'd appreciate it if you'd clean it up is all. I have a roommate now for Pete's sake! “I can’t get no respect!”
;) L
Post a Comment
<< Home