...could easily replace me in all my endeavors, but you be the judge...
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Nikkis t*tties, doing your sister, In Duran Duran's dressing Room.
The fold over game. So we ate like wops and drank like mics on Saturday and there was too mach cellphone playing going on, so we decided that we're going to play a game or two. Lindsay says, "Let's play the fold over game!"

Now, this is after a short game of, "Figure out who you are" where you put the name of a celebrity on someone's back and they have to ask questions and figure out who they are. Just to highlight, Nikki was Anna Nicole once and Verne Troyer the next round (loved this one), Lindsay was Moses the first round and Ben Still the next (sticking with the whew theme), Chris was Gene Simmons one round and Paris Hilton the next (the ringer questions was, "Am I a slut?"), Julia the Canadian was...actually who the hell was she? Lindsay help! I remember Brad was President Bush, I was OJ Simpson I think, and we made Chris's girlfriend Julia be "CHRIS LEE" one round. Haha! That was so funny, she was saying over and over, "Do I LIKE this person?" haha We were unsure of what to tell her! ;)

Ok, so Lindsay suggests the fold over game. This game was invented by Carol Lee (our mom) in the 80's to keep her annoying kids quiet and teach us how to be filthy minded creative writers.

SIDE BAR HERE: Chris has a blog now! He made several lovely comments on my blog such as '2 in the pink and one in the stink..." on my birthday blog, and then commented on
Lindsays blog berating her, and then decided to create his own! Naturally...I linked him. See the links on the side here...he's C-Lee Killa Bee. I also linked John and Eric finally! So check out the little monster's blog. He wrote a disgusting entry about how he got the name "Dizzinator" on there already and it's unsavory.

Ok, so Carol invented this game, the fold over game, and also makes outrageous claims like she invented the question mark too! ;) Actually, she did invent Balderdash before it came out but we called it the Dictionary Game then. One time we played that when the power went out and Chris got the word, 'finnochio' and said it was: Milk from the teet of a rat, milked by the hand of a wooden boy. He never won this game, b/c he went for humor over accuracy, I WON this game a lot! Woo hoo! It's nice to win SOMETHING. Nikki was there for that. That's the time when my mom peed her pants Nik! Good times... ("do not read in robot")

So Lindsay and I loved this game. She taught us to play it one night when we were having a slumber party and we played that game ALL NIGHT and subsequently thereafter at most parties. We are nerds but it is FUNNY when you are with funny, dirty people. The premise of the game is this:

1) Get pieces of paper and pens. You should have at least 3 people to play but you really only need 2. It's more fun with multiple people.

2) Each person takes a piece and a pen and then proceeds to write a "PERSON" or "THING" on the top. Anything. Any combination of people or things and people. It can be the Boston Pops, It can be Laura and the Snake, it can be Gandhi and a hoard of lesbians (as we learned Saturday). Anything.

3) Then, fold that over twice and pass to the person on your left. Then, with your new piece of paper, you write an "ACTION" or combination of multiple actions. Here is where it gets exciting...

4) Fold and pass. Take your new piece and write a "PLACE". 'Inside Lindsay's sphincter' is ok. 'In your fucking face' is better.

5) Place your folded paper in a basket or bin. Everyone takes one out and then go around the room and read them. It's going to be hard to decipher what they are saying, they might be laughing SO hard and pissing themselves.

GREAT GAME. Lindsay, I think in my childhood note box in the basement, I may have saved a few of them from when we were kids. I have to find that. Surely Bob Elizer and some other fun ones should be in there.

Here are a few examples from Saturday, my friends...maybe you had to be there, but FUN-EE!!! It also gets funnier knowing who wrote what. Chris's were of course very disgusting and totally offensive and inappropriate (ie: Jean Benet)

* Nikki's titties, fucking your sister Erin, oin Duran Durans dressing room. (haha! by the way, last night she said that was reasonable, she would do just about anything in their dressing room. Look out Erin!)

*Pac-Man, porking porky pigs pink puckered rosebud, in the tomb of Jesus. (we're going to hell)

*Brad, farting, onstage at the BSO. (Nice work B-rad.)

*Eddie Murphy, f*cking Billy Idol onstage with Benji from Good Charlotte, in your mom.

*Conan O'Brien, using a gerbil to satisfy his anal needs, in the dark chasm of Elton John's sphincter. (By the way, can I just note that I didnt know Colleen was as dirty and mental as she really is?! haha)

*Colonel Sanders and Lindsay, picked Ryan Seacrest's butt hairs with tweezers, at an all gay men's cockwash.

*Mr. T, running a train on Bea Arthur, in a dark alley in Baltimore! (MY FAV!)

*Sir F*cks a lot, drank Pee-Wee Hermans dirty bathwater, in you fucking face. (which you should shut, Uncle Fucka!)

*Michael Jackson, drank a bottle of MadDog 20/20 and threw up all night long, in a horse's stable.

*Anthony Fenderov, pooped green diarrhea, at a Tijuana Donkey Show. (good place Chris!)

*Bob Barker, picking dingleberries off of a Mexican's asshole, in a dressing room at Fashion Bug.

*Cancer boy, licking fun juice from a taint (ewww!), in Richard Marx's backyard.

*Carrottop and Erin Lee, drunk and naked, sucked off Johnny Carson, in the gas chamber in a concentration camp in Auchwitz. (who was trying to get SERIOUS here? Nikki?!)

*Brittany Spear's unborn baby, furiously jerked off to a picture of Monica Lewinsky, on the Red Line.

*12 Angry Hooters girls, licking Andy Dicks balls, in the cafeteria at Ikea.

*Justin Timberlake and Cher, eating Lindsay Lohans yeast infection, in a circus tent full of horny midgets.

*Gandhi and a hoard of lesbians, switching lick-a-sticks with Lindsay, underneath Gary Colemans steaming poo stream. (wtf?!)

*Homer Simpson and Paris Hilton, braided Weird Als pubic hairs, in Pee Wee Hermans Playhouse.

* Corky Thatcher from "Life Goes on", giving Daddy Warbucks a golden shower, in the middle of a Mexican gang initiation.

*Osama Bin Laden, projectile diarrheaing (is this a word?) on a camel at full speed, in the trunk of Nikkis Toyota Camery.

That's all I got people. Was that sick or what? We laughed so hard. The alcohol helped our brains to create this nasty work. God, we are so sick! :)

Hope you enjoyed! I had a great time at the party! Thanks for coming everyone!

Song:
People are Strange - The Doors


4 Comments:

Blogger Lindsay said...

I'd have to say that "Corky Thatcher from 'Life Goes on', giving Daddy Warbucks a golden shower, in the middle of a Mexican gang initiation." is my favorite....it could just be because of the mood I'm in, but it makes me giggle like a little school girl.

Blogger TD said...

I'm just terrified now....and exhausted from reading three blogs in one day.whew.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know...I had a lot to say yesterday (and it had to be about 'nothing') or else I was going to explode. It makes me feel better to write a bunch of stuff, even if it's just BS that no one reads.

LINDSAY! Nice picture on your blog! In the small version you look cross eyed. hehe...jk its cute!

Blogger heather said...

omg my fav:

*Colonel Sanders and Lindsay, picked Ryan Seacrest's butt hairs with tweezers, at an all gay men's cockwash.

that's too good guys. sad that i missed out on the fun.

i was thinking the same thing about linz's eyes being cross eyed. it makes me laugh. uhlawt. but in the words of our seventh grade year book autograph pages:

I love you! BFF! Never change! :)

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