I want sum luvin!!! I’m a freak in heat…a dog without warnin…
I may be the one who wants sum, but I know someone who already got sum! Lindsay's blog indicates that she had double the pleasure, double the fun last night! Woo hoo! Props my HOme girl! Emphasis on the HO. Way to gedder done! Hope you were careful! (hey…it’s what you’d say to me.) Well it’s hump day folks and guess what I wanna do???
Those of you who answered, “knit” are cruisin for a bruisin! I used to do that a lot when I was a kid, according to my Dad. Along with: skatin on thin ice, burning the candle at both ends and askin for trouble. And you ask where I got my creativity and penchant for clichés? It’s genetic. The hardest thing with hearing those little "Robertisms" was not laughing when he said it. I mean he was dead serious. How do you not laugh at a warning that rhymes? Cruisin for bruisin? Come on! Kinda like this:
Curley: “Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!”
Moe: “Funny, eh?”
Curley: “Yeah!”
Moe: “Well laugh this off!”
Sfx: WHAP!
Curley: “Ohh, ohh, ohh, ohh!”
To be honest, I don’t really feel that Curley was cruisin for a bruisin there, do you? Moe’s a dickhead. Wanna hear it yourself to get a better idea? click here! Thanks C. Lee Killa-bee for the link! You’re my favorite brother.
Ok…what will take my mind off of sex if The Three Stooges didn’t work?…hmmm…oh, I’ve got it! How about the email I just got, or no, excuse me, FORWARD that just appeared in my inbox. Do you think that the sender might actually think I don’t have any real appreciation for time? Whatever! It’s not like I write my blog and talk on AIM all day when I’m supposed to be working…sheesh! Well, she obviously thought it noteworthy to forward, which we all know, only important stuff gets forwarded on email, so let’s check it out, shall we? I of course will put my comments in pink. Pink is hot.
To realize the value of a sister, ask someone who doesn't have one.
(how would they know if they didn’t have one? maybe I missed the point…)
To realize the value of ten years, ask a newly divorced couple.
(don’t even think about it. I wont laugh…that hard at least)
To realize the value of four years, ask a graduate.
(who graduates in 4 years anymore?)
(ok enuff with the ‘to realize’s…you get the point…)
The value of one year, ask a student who has failed a final exam.
(don’t ask that idiot anything! he obviously cannot answer questions correctly.)
The value of one month, ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.
(I fear anything I say here will be grossly inappropriate knowing me, so I will skip it…)
The value of one week, ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
(not! try asking a woman on the rag who missed her chance to get laid! it’s more dangerous, but definitely educational!)
The value of one hour, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
(I feel a craig’s list crack comin on here! I’ll refrain…)
The value of one minute, ask a person who has missed the train, bus or plane.
(I suggest that you ask them if they need a ride first. that way the whole ‘value of a minute’ question will go over a little more smoothly.)
The value of one-second, ask a person who has survived an accident.
(...or a woman who has just been with a 'two-pump-chump')
The value of one millisecond, ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics.
(actually, say it like this: “so how’s it feel to be referred to as #2?” See if they get the poop reference.)
The value of a friend, lose one.
(oh I wont be funny here…I hope I never have to learn to value my friends this way. Hopefully it will just come naturally one day…)
Time waits for no one. Treasure every moment you have.
(spend it having sex…which brings us full-circle….WHERZ THE MF BEEF?!)
Time waits for no one, huh? Hmmm…that’s ominous. (eerily silent pause)
BAM!!! Silence broken! Ok kids I’m off to treasure every moment like it’s my last, and I’ll prolly eat something and watch TV to start….maybe jog a lil. ;) Call me!
PS: Yeah I wrote about nothing today. So what. You still read it. Guess what? You’re never again going to get that 5 mins back that it took you to read this. Ever. Now is that treasuring your moments??? I think NOT. I wasn’t going to make an entry into the Captain’s Blog today, but my worshipers wait with baited breath for my healing words…so to your prayers for me to ‘keep on bloggin’, I say: Sointenly!!!
PPS: yes I’m still thinking about sex. I have no cooth.
Things I Am Thankful for Today:
Heterosexuality (hey, this is my list, make your own list, Blay)
KY Warming Liquid
My cell phone
Songs of the Day:
Me So Horny – 2 Live Crew
You’re Making Me High – Toni Braxton (God, this song is SO sexy!)
Freek-a-leek – Petey Pablo
Why Don’t We Do It In The Road – The Beatles
I may be the one who wants sum, but I know someone who already got sum! Lindsay's blog indicates that she had double the pleasure, double the fun last night! Woo hoo! Props my HOme girl! Emphasis on the HO. Way to gedder done! Hope you were careful! (hey…it’s what you’d say to me.) Well it’s hump day folks and guess what I wanna do???
Those of you who answered, “knit” are cruisin for a bruisin! I used to do that a lot when I was a kid, according to my Dad. Along with: skatin on thin ice, burning the candle at both ends and askin for trouble. And you ask where I got my creativity and penchant for clichés? It’s genetic. The hardest thing with hearing those little "Robertisms" was not laughing when he said it. I mean he was dead serious. How do you not laugh at a warning that rhymes? Cruisin for bruisin? Come on! Kinda like this:
Curley: “Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!”
Moe: “Funny, eh?”
Curley: “Yeah!”
Moe: “Well laugh this off!”
Sfx: WHAP!
Curley: “Ohh, ohh, ohh, ohh!”
To be honest, I don’t really feel that Curley was cruisin for a bruisin there, do you? Moe’s a dickhead. Wanna hear it yourself to get a better idea? click here! Thanks C. Lee Killa-bee for the link! You’re my favorite brother.
Ok…what will take my mind off of sex if The Three Stooges didn’t work?…hmmm…oh, I’ve got it! How about the email I just got, or no, excuse me, FORWARD that just appeared in my inbox. Do you think that the sender might actually think I don’t have any real appreciation for time? Whatever! It’s not like I write my blog and talk on AIM all day when I’m supposed to be working…sheesh! Well, she obviously thought it noteworthy to forward, which we all know, only important stuff gets forwarded on email, so let’s check it out, shall we? I of course will put my comments in pink. Pink is hot.
To realize the value of a sister, ask someone who doesn't have one.
(how would they know if they didn’t have one? maybe I missed the point…)
To realize the value of ten years, ask a newly divorced couple.
(don’t even think about it. I wont laugh…that hard at least)
To realize the value of four years, ask a graduate.
(who graduates in 4 years anymore?)
(ok enuff with the ‘to realize’s…you get the point…)
The value of one year, ask a student who has failed a final exam.
(don’t ask that idiot anything! he obviously cannot answer questions correctly.)
The value of one month, ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.
(I fear anything I say here will be grossly inappropriate knowing me, so I will skip it…)
The value of one week, ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
(not! try asking a woman on the rag who missed her chance to get laid! it’s more dangerous, but definitely educational!)
The value of one hour, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
(I feel a craig’s list crack comin on here! I’ll refrain…)
The value of one minute, ask a person who has missed the train, bus or plane.
(I suggest that you ask them if they need a ride first. that way the whole ‘value of a minute’ question will go over a little more smoothly.)
The value of one-second, ask a person who has survived an accident.
(...or a woman who has just been with a 'two-pump-chump')
The value of one millisecond, ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics.
(actually, say it like this: “so how’s it feel to be referred to as #2?” See if they get the poop reference.)
The value of a friend, lose one.
(oh I wont be funny here…I hope I never have to learn to value my friends this way. Hopefully it will just come naturally one day…)
Time waits for no one. Treasure every moment you have.
(spend it having sex…which brings us full-circle….WHERZ THE MF BEEF?!)
Time waits for no one, huh? Hmmm…that’s ominous. (eerily silent pause)
BAM!!! Silence broken! Ok kids I’m off to treasure every moment like it’s my last, and I’ll prolly eat something and watch TV to start….maybe jog a lil. ;) Call me!
PS: Yeah I wrote about nothing today. So what. You still read it. Guess what? You’re never again going to get that 5 mins back that it took you to read this. Ever. Now is that treasuring your moments??? I think NOT. I wasn’t going to make an entry into the Captain’s Blog today, but my worshipers wait with baited breath for my healing words…so to your prayers for me to ‘keep on bloggin’, I say: Sointenly!!!
PPS: yes I’m still thinking about sex. I have no cooth.
Things I Am Thankful for Today:
Heterosexuality (hey, this is my list, make your own list, Blay)
KY Warming Liquid
My cell phone
Songs of the Day:
Me So Horny – 2 Live Crew
You’re Making Me High – Toni Braxton (God, this song is SO sexy!)
Freek-a-leek – Petey Pablo
Why Don’t We Do It In The Road – The Beatles
1 Comments:
man, i am like worked up just reading that. and NO i dont want those 5 min. back, they were fantastic. hehe. *smoking cigarette*
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