So, I didn’t go to work today. It was a “sick” day. At one point, I was just laying there in bed, like Cameron in the movie, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, flat on my back, covers up to my chin, blank look on my face, starting at the ceiling. “When Laura was in Egypt’s laaaaaaannnnd…let my Laura goooooooooo.” The phone rings. And rings. And rings. And rings (it’s a 4 time deal before the machine kicks on). I hear the impersonal robot voice I initiated once becoming ‘single’ again, as to not have to hear the fake up beat couple message, gag, blare: you have reached, 4…1…0… (take forever on each number)…please leave a message after the tone. Booooooooooop”
“Laura? LAURA. Laaaaaaurrraaaaa! It’s Mom. You aren’t at work I know it, I paged you. Pick up, pick up, pick up. Are we having a bad day today? I’m sensing a bad day. I want you to do what I’m doing. I am trying not to think of my life as this wheel of cheese with slices missing out of it....but just a smaller wheel of cheese that's whole. And it’s not swiss cheese so there are no holes either. But I am a whole cheese. I love you. Call me.”
So yeah, I told her she should work for Hallmark, or maybe just a really long-winded fortune cookie message writing factory. Either way, she’s right, I wish I was a whole cheese wheel today, but I’m not. So I will try and keep this short as I don’t even feel funny today and say that today is in fact a bad day.
I won’t go too, too far into it, as this is a blog and not in-fact my shrink’s couch and it’s quite rude and impersonal to spread your love life over the net, but things are ‘over’, ‘again’ with the ‘person’ I was ‘seeing’. Maybe the problem was all the ‘ ‘ in our ‘relationship’. And I can hear the collective, “AGAIN? Wait, I thought it already ended!” and I will just quash that and give you the accelerated version by saying that it was never over, any of those times, I am a total jellyfish when it came to him, I was crazy about him. I didn’t know that I could feel anything other than disappointment and numbness with another man for a long time, in the post-Kevin era, and can’t say I didn’t feel a little guilty here and there during, as expected, but nonetheless, it was wonderful, while it lasted. He was a very special, funny, compassionate, intelligent man, and even now, when I think about him, and our time together I find myself laughing out loud (not about the sex part people). It wasn’t that long, but as you know, it stopped me in my slutty little tracks, caught me off guard, changed my path and now…hmmmm…I don’t know, maybe I am a little more focused.
Also, more power to all my little CL addicts, but things are over between me and Craig as well. His list was fun for a while, but it was just a weird little phase. I don’t even know that I would get a piece of furniture off of his list now, just because I struggle to see how anything really decent that doesn’t involve semen can come of a CL encounter. Obviously, good things can come of it (a la HB and Sean-Tom), but at this point, I am on a man hiatus and if I do meet anyone, it’s going to be the old fashioned way, with my glowing personality and hot sexy mojo. ;) But, be weary you scary internet cruising Larry’s, that The Laura Lee is a CL anomaly. I came, I saw, I ran in the other direction. Out of all my CL stories, not a one of them will ever meet someone even a fraction as cool as I am on there, unless of course they cross paths with one of you hookers. haha
So, we’re both not ready for anything as profound as that could have gotten, and besides, right now he’s a sucker for the hoochie coochie (literally). Maybe down the road, we will meet again and give it a whirl. Now, hopefully I won’t be 85 years old by then, although I’d be a hot, freaky little granny, now wouldn’t I? I’d wear hot pink and make inappropriate sexual comments to embarrass my children and grandchildren. OMG…I am turning into my mother…I am the cheese. So I really do hope to cross paths with him again, he was…great. But until then, I won’t be holding nightly prayer vigils around the bowl. I made some mistakes…sometimes I loved who I was when I was with him, and at others, I hated the things I felt and did, because they were jealousy based and y’all know how I feel about jealous peeps. They suck ass.
Ok, I’m done. I shant mention it again. As spring approaches and Valentine’s day passes and the flowers start to bloom and couples are kissing everywhere, I wont be making throw up noises or mumbling, “get a room”, no siree, I will be glowing with self-admiration having gotten the same satisfaction out of doing my taxes, finding a cheap shitty apartment, making all my friends move me (that’s a warning y’all), curbing my substance abuse, finalizing a divorce before I even turn 30 (woopie), watching my sisters grow up and teaching them to say ignorant things to my father, hopefully in Spanish (hey, he said he wanted them to learn it!), and just trying to be the biggest, most non-holey cheese wheel I can be. Alone, again, naturally.
Thanks for all your endless talks in which you answered the same question 500 times and heard me say the same things over and over…it wasn’t the first time and it certainly wont be the last. I will be a thorn on your ass for a LONG time. I love you!
Ok, I gots to be going, I’m scheduled for some TLC from ma Papi and mis bebes, and a low carb spicy dinner in Annapolis at 7, so “I’munna leave y’all wit dis…”
Yeah Linz, it’s “jogging”, not JOGGING. You know I don’t run unless someone is chasing me…with a gun…and it’s only because they have a 1 in 40 chance of actually hitting me and even then it won’t be a vital organ. Ok, maybe 1 in 20, if I don’t lose 20 lbs by April 1 (this is not a joke, it’s happening). And, props to Sean-Tom for quoting me in his blog and making my euphemisms his words of the day. You’re my boy BLUE!!! In the words of the The Clash, I can’t wait for your visit Shareef, we’re gonna rock the Casbah! (Did anyone used to think this was “Cash bar” also?)
Love and other indoor sports,
Cameron
“Laura? LAURA. Laaaaaaurrraaaaa! It’s Mom. You aren’t at work I know it, I paged you. Pick up, pick up, pick up. Are we having a bad day today? I’m sensing a bad day. I want you to do what I’m doing. I am trying not to think of my life as this wheel of cheese with slices missing out of it....but just a smaller wheel of cheese that's whole. And it’s not swiss cheese so there are no holes either. But I am a whole cheese. I love you. Call me.”
So yeah, I told her she should work for Hallmark, or maybe just a really long-winded fortune cookie message writing factory. Either way, she’s right, I wish I was a whole cheese wheel today, but I’m not. So I will try and keep this short as I don’t even feel funny today and say that today is in fact a bad day.
I won’t go too, too far into it, as this is a blog and not in-fact my shrink’s couch and it’s quite rude and impersonal to spread your love life over the net, but things are ‘over’, ‘again’ with the ‘person’ I was ‘seeing’. Maybe the problem was all the ‘ ‘ in our ‘relationship’. And I can hear the collective, “AGAIN? Wait, I thought it already ended!” and I will just quash that and give you the accelerated version by saying that it was never over, any of those times, I am a total jellyfish when it came to him, I was crazy about him. I didn’t know that I could feel anything other than disappointment and numbness with another man for a long time, in the post-Kevin era, and can’t say I didn’t feel a little guilty here and there during, as expected, but nonetheless, it was wonderful, while it lasted. He was a very special, funny, compassionate, intelligent man, and even now, when I think about him, and our time together I find myself laughing out loud (not about the sex part people). It wasn’t that long, but as you know, it stopped me in my slutty little tracks, caught me off guard, changed my path and now…hmmmm…I don’t know, maybe I am a little more focused.
Also, more power to all my little CL addicts, but things are over between me and Craig as well. His list was fun for a while, but it was just a weird little phase. I don’t even know that I would get a piece of furniture off of his list now, just because I struggle to see how anything really decent that doesn’t involve semen can come of a CL encounter. Obviously, good things can come of it (a la HB and Sean-Tom), but at this point, I am on a man hiatus and if I do meet anyone, it’s going to be the old fashioned way, with my glowing personality and hot sexy mojo. ;) But, be weary you scary internet cruising Larry’s, that The Laura Lee is a CL anomaly. I came, I saw, I ran in the other direction. Out of all my CL stories, not a one of them will ever meet someone even a fraction as cool as I am on there, unless of course they cross paths with one of you hookers. haha
So, we’re both not ready for anything as profound as that could have gotten, and besides, right now he’s a sucker for the hoochie coochie (literally). Maybe down the road, we will meet again and give it a whirl. Now, hopefully I won’t be 85 years old by then, although I’d be a hot, freaky little granny, now wouldn’t I? I’d wear hot pink and make inappropriate sexual comments to embarrass my children and grandchildren. OMG…I am turning into my mother…I am the cheese. So I really do hope to cross paths with him again, he was…great. But until then, I won’t be holding nightly prayer vigils around the bowl. I made some mistakes…sometimes I loved who I was when I was with him, and at others, I hated the things I felt and did, because they were jealousy based and y’all know how I feel about jealous peeps. They suck ass.
Ok, I’m done. I shant mention it again. As spring approaches and Valentine’s day passes and the flowers start to bloom and couples are kissing everywhere, I wont be making throw up noises or mumbling, “get a room”, no siree, I will be glowing with self-admiration having gotten the same satisfaction out of doing my taxes, finding a cheap shitty apartment, making all my friends move me (that’s a warning y’all), curbing my substance abuse, finalizing a divorce before I even turn 30 (woopie), watching my sisters grow up and teaching them to say ignorant things to my father, hopefully in Spanish (hey, he said he wanted them to learn it!), and just trying to be the biggest, most non-holey cheese wheel I can be. Alone, again, naturally.
Thanks for all your endless talks in which you answered the same question 500 times and heard me say the same things over and over…it wasn’t the first time and it certainly wont be the last. I will be a thorn on your ass for a LONG time. I love you!
Ok, I gots to be going, I’m scheduled for some TLC from ma Papi and mis bebes, and a low carb spicy dinner in Annapolis at 7, so “I’munna leave y’all wit dis…”
Yeah Linz, it’s “jogging”, not JOGGING. You know I don’t run unless someone is chasing me…with a gun…and it’s only because they have a 1 in 40 chance of actually hitting me and even then it won’t be a vital organ. Ok, maybe 1 in 20, if I don’t lose 20 lbs by April 1 (this is not a joke, it’s happening). And, props to Sean-Tom for quoting me in his blog and making my euphemisms his words of the day. You’re my boy BLUE!!! In the words of the The Clash, I can’t wait for your visit Shareef, we’re gonna rock the Casbah! (Did anyone used to think this was “Cash bar” also?)
Love and other indoor sports,
Cameron
1 Comments:
Well damn, sonds lke you and I will be able to have a great convo about love,life and craziness on the CL tip!ha. Alone Again, Naturally? I also reccomend listening to the following "Angel Flying to Close to the Ground" by the Redheaded Stranger (Mr. Willie Nelson) and of course you can always pop out "What it Takes" from Aerosmith. What about feeling good? Lets go with Willie again, "Nothing I Can do About It Now" and of course "On the Road Again". Love ya babe, chin up.
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