Greetings followers of The Laura Lee! So, now that we have our mandatory "blogduction" out of the way, we can move on to the musings of a disturbed genius (this is me) and talk about this past weekend, because apparently, inquiring minds want to know. Gosh I didnt know ya all cared! You should know though, that all of you reading it were prolly there, not to mention the fact that I reserve the right to chastise you on my blog as I would surely do in person. It's my blog. You're not the boss of my blog. You know who you are. So anyway, though you might have experienced it first hand, who doesnt want to see it through the eyes of a monkey? So we forge ahead...
Superbowl weekend. So, my partner in sex crimes, HB, decides that she needs to hop on the choo-choo from Penn to Penn station and visit the Lickster. Fab. Was supposed to babysit the lil brown Raisinettes, but me and the old man decide to work out a lil sumpthin that would free his first of FOUR (count em) daughters up for some drunken debauchery and man hatin' (just kiddin, lov ya guys!) After I laid on the couch under the blanket for an hour in the dark acting mental, I picked her up at about 7 on Friday and we went cruising for a dive bar in Glen BurnAY..."It's where I hail from, sir!" Now, stick two quasi-stuck up bitches who don't realize they are only a few steps above white trash (just a few!) in a Honda and drive em all over GB, and you'll quickly realize we are in the zone, where most bars are a little too 'Balmer-hon' and other's, well, 'we're too ugly to go in there tonight without makeup'. So an hour or so later we were doing some last minute makeuping (not makeoutting!) in the parking lot of Bateman's in Severna Park as we prayed not to have a "reunion". We didn't...but our waiter did hit on me by asking me if I liked the wings...and just me...like, he didnt even care if she liked 'em. I tell you, I felt on top of the world that night. I'm hot. So we went home where we proceeded to jog for 30 minutes and I just got plum tuckered out and squinty eyed, but apparently, HB is immune to jogging. I mean we really gave it a good effort, changed shoes, changed routes, increased the time, the mileage...nada. So I gave up, passed out and we awoke the next day to a series of errands that I wont go into because it's not altogether that blog-worthy (sorry Mr. n' Mrs. B!)
Saturday night (Superbowl XXXIX Eve). Madams Organ...I mean Adam's Morgan. Got to Lindsay's just in time to defuse a cat-fight between the lovas, Linz and CM (ma gurls). Don't worry...they made up. Lindsay is a selfish bitch. HAHA kidding ;) So we take these shots that taste like windex, I blew the fuse in both bedrooms with the hairdryer and proceeded to sweat profusely until we left. So it was Linz, HB, NW, CM, and me (I use initials to protect the innocent...cept you Linz, cuz you aint innocent). We had a pretty cool time. CM got looooooaded and got sum tail I think (did you end up getting some C?) and we ended up fending off Yo-boys from Queens in big puffy jackets who HB was meringue-ing with inside the jumbo slice pizza place, disobeying our wide-eyed, "wtf??? looks". Went to Tom Tom's...felt old...left in cab (rip-off). Went to Lindsay-Lou's, got tired and bitchy, drove home. (This is really boring people?! Am I doing this wrong?)
Superbowl day was ok....I think. It had throwing up in it, so that's always fun. We were supposed to go to my dad's shindig and have some good eats, play with the Rainsinettes, relax, etc, but Erin got us tix to Elliott in the Morning's DC101 Superbowl Party at Club Dream on NY Ave. Phat baby. The club was nice (two metro rides and a shuttle bus later) but the beer specials weren't so special and we missed the food, which will get this group of baboons mighty unhappy fast. We did eat though compliments of the chef (HB) and then we stood around, in front of the service elevator and proceeded to, dodge Hispanic servers who thought I was HOT! (I am...hello?) and "trash watch" as the game kicked off. There was no where to sit. Not cool. Well, I am a wussy and I had my shoes off in no time and had kicked the "bucket o' buds" over twice by the end of the first quarter, so we decided to bail to Sante Fe for some 75 cent drafts, cheap wings, good times. The gurlz decided to hit the bathroom on the way out, and once inside this WT haven, happened upon an extremely trailer-trashy, intoxicated, white beeyewty, with a t-shirt on and Mardi Gras beads...naturally. As she exits the bathroom, she stops, reflects, and announces to the bathroom in a good thick Baltimore accent (props to the east side baby):
"I'munna leave y'all wit dis......(deep breath)....buuuuuuuuuurrrrp!!!"
as she burps loudly and exits the bathroom. That story will never die, and yes, of course Erin, HB or I would be happy to impersonate her for you upon demand.
Ok, so one $30 cab ride later, we were at Sante Fe in College Park....ahhhh. We got a LOT of drinks, most of them came out of this giant test tube that is apparently called a "tapper". HB got SMASHED, Erin and I fought because I called her a Mexican (don't ever do this people) and there were lots of free shots and stuff. Well come the end of the night, we were leaving prank messages on people's phones (we knew em, it's no sweat) with the theme song to Fresh Prince of Bel Air, of which we knew every word of. Boy, being in a college bar really makes me immature. Oh no wait...hmmmm. So, HB is looking smashy and wants a new nick name. Erin says her voice is high-pitched so we should call her High-ther. I like it! haha So, we walk out to the car, suddenly, that act is very funny...to HB. We get in the car, head back for the Burn, and she proceeds to move in sequence at a rapid pace from laughing hysterically to crying hysterically, to giving me ample and calm notice (thanks babe) to pull over on 295 for a good pukin. I mean, there was some silence in between the crying and the puking in which the window went up and down a few times for air (bzzzzt...bzzzzzzt!) She's such a quiet puker and so lady like, unlike me, the roaring bear, who pukes so hard she gets lil hickeys all around her eyes from straining. That was a shit load of puke though girl! ;) Then, "we" had a small cry over the puking, and she declares, "I mean I think I just drank a lot in that last 45 minutes." YA THINK??? Love ya babe. But I will never borrow your phone again (it fell...wont say where).
Got to 7-11, where she asks, "do you think he is going to make fun of me in there?" I said, "for what? crying?" "yeaaaaahhhh (all sad)" to which I replied, "HB! he works at 7-11!" haha So yes, in order to NOT draw attention to herself, she immediately picks up this child's pony on a stick and proceeds to ride it around the store, adding that extra hip-bump to indicate, he's a "bucker". We get some gingerale, some D&D's sandwiches, go home and that pretty much brings us to today. I was on time for work today, since I dropped her off at the train station, but I don't plan on making a habit of that.
That's about it folks. Hope to have more for you as the days progress. Things do tend to cross my mind at a random pace. If you don't like it, get the cluck off my blog, bitches.
Oh, and if you are bothered by the use of curse words...whoops, too late. Better wash your eyes with bleach. AND there's no spell check. bite me.
Love to ma chicklets! ;)
Superbowl weekend. So, my partner in sex crimes, HB, decides that she needs to hop on the choo-choo from Penn to Penn station and visit the Lickster. Fab. Was supposed to babysit the lil brown Raisinettes, but me and the old man decide to work out a lil sumpthin that would free his first of FOUR (count em) daughters up for some drunken debauchery and man hatin' (just kiddin, lov ya guys!) After I laid on the couch under the blanket for an hour in the dark acting mental, I picked her up at about 7 on Friday and we went cruising for a dive bar in Glen BurnAY..."It's where I hail from, sir!" Now, stick two quasi-stuck up bitches who don't realize they are only a few steps above white trash (just a few!) in a Honda and drive em all over GB, and you'll quickly realize we are in the zone, where most bars are a little too 'Balmer-hon' and other's, well, 'we're too ugly to go in there tonight without makeup'. So an hour or so later we were doing some last minute makeuping (not makeoutting!) in the parking lot of Bateman's in Severna Park as we prayed not to have a "reunion". We didn't...but our waiter did hit on me by asking me if I liked the wings...and just me...like, he didnt even care if she liked 'em. I tell you, I felt on top of the world that night. I'm hot. So we went home where we proceeded to jog for 30 minutes and I just got plum tuckered out and squinty eyed, but apparently, HB is immune to jogging. I mean we really gave it a good effort, changed shoes, changed routes, increased the time, the mileage...nada. So I gave up, passed out and we awoke the next day to a series of errands that I wont go into because it's not altogether that blog-worthy (sorry Mr. n' Mrs. B!)
Saturday night (Superbowl XXXIX Eve). Madams Organ...I mean Adam's Morgan. Got to Lindsay's just in time to defuse a cat-fight between the lovas, Linz and CM (ma gurls). Don't worry...they made up. Lindsay is a selfish bitch. HAHA kidding ;) So we take these shots that taste like windex, I blew the fuse in both bedrooms with the hairdryer and proceeded to sweat profusely until we left. So it was Linz, HB, NW, CM, and me (I use initials to protect the innocent...cept you Linz, cuz you aint innocent). We had a pretty cool time. CM got looooooaded and got sum tail I think (did you end up getting some C?) and we ended up fending off Yo-boys from Queens in big puffy jackets who HB was meringue-ing with inside the jumbo slice pizza place, disobeying our wide-eyed, "wtf??? looks". Went to Tom Tom's...felt old...left in cab (rip-off). Went to Lindsay-Lou's, got tired and bitchy, drove home. (This is really boring people?! Am I doing this wrong?)
Superbowl day was ok....I think. It had throwing up in it, so that's always fun. We were supposed to go to my dad's shindig and have some good eats, play with the Rainsinettes, relax, etc, but Erin got us tix to Elliott in the Morning's DC101 Superbowl Party at Club Dream on NY Ave. Phat baby. The club was nice (two metro rides and a shuttle bus later) but the beer specials weren't so special and we missed the food, which will get this group of baboons mighty unhappy fast. We did eat though compliments of the chef (HB) and then we stood around, in front of the service elevator and proceeded to, dodge Hispanic servers who thought I was HOT! (I am...hello?) and "trash watch" as the game kicked off. There was no where to sit. Not cool. Well, I am a wussy and I had my shoes off in no time and had kicked the "bucket o' buds" over twice by the end of the first quarter, so we decided to bail to Sante Fe for some 75 cent drafts, cheap wings, good times. The gurlz decided to hit the bathroom on the way out, and once inside this WT haven, happened upon an extremely trailer-trashy, intoxicated, white beeyewty, with a t-shirt on and Mardi Gras beads...naturally. As she exits the bathroom, she stops, reflects, and announces to the bathroom in a good thick Baltimore accent (props to the east side baby):
"I'munna leave y'all wit dis......(deep breath)....buuuuuuuuuurrrrp!!!"
as she burps loudly and exits the bathroom. That story will never die, and yes, of course Erin, HB or I would be happy to impersonate her for you upon demand.
Ok, so one $30 cab ride later, we were at Sante Fe in College Park....ahhhh. We got a LOT of drinks, most of them came out of this giant test tube that is apparently called a "tapper". HB got SMASHED, Erin and I fought because I called her a Mexican (don't ever do this people) and there were lots of free shots and stuff. Well come the end of the night, we were leaving prank messages on people's phones (we knew em, it's no sweat) with the theme song to Fresh Prince of Bel Air, of which we knew every word of. Boy, being in a college bar really makes me immature. Oh no wait...hmmmm. So, HB is looking smashy and wants a new nick name. Erin says her voice is high-pitched so we should call her High-ther. I like it! haha So, we walk out to the car, suddenly, that act is very funny...to HB. We get in the car, head back for the Burn, and she proceeds to move in sequence at a rapid pace from laughing hysterically to crying hysterically, to giving me ample and calm notice (thanks babe) to pull over on 295 for a good pukin. I mean, there was some silence in between the crying and the puking in which the window went up and down a few times for air (bzzzzt...bzzzzzzt!) She's such a quiet puker and so lady like, unlike me, the roaring bear, who pukes so hard she gets lil hickeys all around her eyes from straining. That was a shit load of puke though girl! ;) Then, "we" had a small cry over the puking, and she declares, "I mean I think I just drank a lot in that last 45 minutes." YA THINK??? Love ya babe. But I will never borrow your phone again (it fell...wont say where).
Got to 7-11, where she asks, "do you think he is going to make fun of me in there?" I said, "for what? crying?" "yeaaaaahhhh (all sad)" to which I replied, "HB! he works at 7-11!" haha So yes, in order to NOT draw attention to herself, she immediately picks up this child's pony on a stick and proceeds to ride it around the store, adding that extra hip-bump to indicate, he's a "bucker". We get some gingerale, some D&D's sandwiches, go home and that pretty much brings us to today. I was on time for work today, since I dropped her off at the train station, but I don't plan on making a habit of that.
That's about it folks. Hope to have more for you as the days progress. Things do tend to cross my mind at a random pace. If you don't like it, get the cluck off my blog, bitches.
Oh, and if you are bothered by the use of curse words...whoops, too late. Better wash your eyes with bleach. AND there's no spell check. bite me.
Love to ma chicklets! ;)
5 Comments:
You went jogging for a half hour outside on a friday night? Are you freakin serious? You really ran for 1/2 hour- that's awesome Laura! Please tell me more about this heroic effort of athleticism.....
Sounds like a hell of a time. Anyone up for having some more fun on February 26th? I will be in B-more on my way to North Carolina. Later all.
Nooo not jogging Linz-- "jogging"....if ya know what i mean... ;) haha. and YES i do puke like a lady. what of it, bitches?!
Two more things. I was just informed what "Jogging" meant. Hahaha. I always thought that "Drinking Tea" was a better analogy. And yes, Linz, Nick, Would love to see ya.
I didn't know you "jogged" Heather! Did Laura Lee tell you were "jogging" came from?
>^..^< Nikki
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