She's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

Wow – I’m actually going to KEEP my promise and blog again! Hooray for me. :)

So let’s see…where to start. I like bullet points…let’s go with bullet points:

*PAYCHECK*

Job is ok. I like to maintain the image that what I do is SO important and keeps me SO busy, that I can barely talk about it - top secret. ;) Truth is, that what I’m doing doesn’t make any significant contribution to this planet, in fact it’s very boring (securities industry insurance). But, you’ll be happy to at least know that I’m excelling in my work place and although I still wouldn’t consider my coworkers my “friends” and you won’t catch any of us heading out for a “happy hour”, I am respected and liked and appreciated…as of right now. I spent the last 2 years really making my way with a difficult group of colleagues, a demanding client, a home office in DES MOINES, IOWA (boooooring) and to quote Peter from the movie Office Space, 8 bosses, Bob. Actually it’s more like 7 bosses, and to be more specific, it’s 3 direct reports and 4 fringe bosses or top execs. It’s rather ridiculous really. As you can imagine, I have a lot of people telling me when I forget to put the cover on my TPS reports…

*SHELTER*

I moved this past January...back to The Burn and in with my sweetheart. This is Dave of course (or you would have seen another bullet point, first and foremost that was titled: “New Mating Partner (I chucked the old one and went gay)”. Things are better than good. I really like living with him. He is great company and we laugh all the time and I can sheepishly report that a few weeks ago we drank 5 bottles of wine on a Monday night and watched ¾ of the movie “The Hustler”. The good part there is that I’ve found someone who can match my partying skills drink for drink. The bad part is FIVE BOTTLES OF WINE?! Disgusting. Even Nikki and I didn’t drink 5 bottles in a night. When people ask me how “living together” is going, my response is usually that it’s going great and we’re having fun and that living with a boy (again) further reinforces my very strong theory that different people just have different interpretations of the concept of “urgent”. Putting one’s clothes and shoes away is not “urgent” in some people’s, erm…mainly guys…minds. This I can live with. I am sure there are many complaints about my living habits and sense of “urgency” and the overall sense of urgency in the minds of all women (mainly in conjunction with bj’s and sandwiches – not to be combined), but this is MY BLOG, so I get to say what I wanna.

*LOVE LIFE*

I don’t want to shock you here, but you may have already guessed that Dave and I are still together. ;) Everything is going well (see paragraph above) and the whole “Living in Sin” thing gets a bad rap (or is that rep?) I could make up a bad rap about it, but I will spare you my cheesiness. I like living with Dave and I like his family and his friends…oh and him. I like him too. I won’t go too far into this section…not because things aren’t just peachy, but because they are private and when have I EVER been known to disclose private information on my blog? Perish the thought. ;)

*DIETING*

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. We’re skipping this one.

*CHILD-REARING*

Yeah…I got nothin. I haven't "reared "any children, lucky for their little bottoms.

*FAMILLE*

The fam is doing pretty well actually. Erin graduated from the University of Maryland at College Park in December and she is working as an assistant to an oral surgeon. When we were waiting in line to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (ON IMAX!!!) she told me how to make a drug cocktail to put someone under for surgery. Neato. This, combined with my in-depth knowledge of forensics ought to be enough to scare those of you who cross me. Chris is alive and well, and has worked his way up within his company and has done really well for himself. I believe he sells roofing, windows and other energy saving solutions. So if you’re in the market, consider using a Lee. Everyone else does. His love life is always sprinkled with interesting factoids, but I will leave that level of divulgence to him (his My Space is linked on the left). If any of you have been around to visit me and have stayed late night, you’ll know that he is an amazing guitar player and every gathering ends in a hell of a hootenanny. Between him and Dave and my dad, there is always music in my life and I love this.

My dad and his family are doing just fine. He is still old and he still has toddlers. Ha-ha. Thankfully though, only a couple of people in his house wear diapers and he is not one of them (I’m cracking myself up here). The twins are now 3 years old (wow!) and cute as can be. If you’d like to check them out, here is the website: http://www.babyhomepages.net/lee/ Dave and I gave them those cute little princess costumes they are wearing in the first few pictures. They are so adorable and they are growing like weeds and talking up a storm. Never a dull moment there. My mom and Stu-ball (this is what we call her main squeeze, Stuart) are doing just fine. They are always out socializing and doing something interesting. I’m glad she’s happy. They both have taken a great interest in Dave’s improvisational blues band, Indigo Church. I’m going to give them a shameless plug in one of the following paragraphs.

*WHERE THE CLUCK HAVE I BEEN?*

Well, mostly I’m busy with work and staying home being an old homebody fart. I get sleepy way too early in the evening, I get hangovers when I drink too much and I don’t feel like buying a bunch of new clothes all the time to stay stylish. Pathetic really. So I spend a lot of time at home when I can. It feels like we’re traveling every weekend of the summer though. I've been on a few trips...last summer (well Fall really) we went to Disneyworld for a week and it was AWESOME! I promised myself I would get on here and blog and post pictures and then I didn’t because I have a propensity towards procrastination, bordering on the tendencies of an “utter failure”. I will try and get some pics up here though. Blogger has made using its program so difficult anymore I think. Seems as if most people are now using My Space to communicate. I’m of course behind on this initiative because I can’t even keep up the blog. I do have a My Space page though (linked to the left on this page), but I don’t use it for anything. I don’t really GET IT. Can you chat on My Space? Probably and I'm just too dumb to figure it out. I don’t see the purpose in posting something on someone’s My Space so that it can send them a link by email to tell them they have a message (that they can’t read unless they log on to My Space). And I am not a fan of the “being logged on to one site and looking for other people to chat with all day and night” thing. If you are and I have offended you, good. You are too old to be hanging out on My Space. Just joking, I’m so far removed from the scene, I don’t know jack. Maybe one of these days I will figure out how to use it to my advantage and make a new page (without an annoying song blaring on my page). I like being able to blog though. I guess you can do that on there too huh? Yeah, whatever. You sweat My Space so hard.

Ok that was a major tangent. Back to “what I’ve been up to”. So we went to Disneyworld and that was awesome. I recommend it highly. You don’t need to have kids to enjoy it highly (or soberly). We’ve also been to Cleveland, Ohio a few times (Dave has friends there, otherwise I do not recommend this as a vacation spot), Cincinnati (and Kentucky) which was actually quite beautiful, and we’ve hung out with Dave’s friends in DC a few times this summer. I miss my friends though, you hussies. I would really like to have more frequent and perhaps smaller (so we can talk) get togethers. I realize this cuts into breeding time, but at the very least it's sure to be fabulous entertainment for one night with yours truly. Anyway, I’m probably forgetting lots of things we’ve done. I am also sure I’m missing a lot of funny blog-worthy stories that have come up in the last two-years, but I will try and post them as I recall them. I will close this particular blog with a good one.

Please feel free to check out the link (on the left) to Dave's band, Indigo Church. A lot of you have seen them perform and I know I am partial, but they really are quite good. They are an improvisational blues/jazz band and they play regularly at Ze Mean Bean Cafe in Fells Point, Baltimore. Every 2nd and 4th Saturday night from 7-11 pm (and they play the Jazz Brunch on the Sunday after the second Saturday - got all that? haha) The food there is pretty good and the entertainment is stellar. So...check out their web page to hear a little bit. Ok, plug over.

*SUMMER-EYES*

Overall, I spend a lot of my time working, commuting (and avoiding crazy, smelly people on the subway), reading (all hail Harry Potter), sleeping or eating. I like sleeping. And eating. I suppose one major factor I may have omitted is that I turned the big three-oh on May 22nd. Not much to comment on other than I had a really nice birthday with Dave and he surprised me and took me to get my hair done, then to Pazo (one of my favorite restaurants: http://www.pazorestaurant.com/) and then to a wine store to sign up for a wine tasting that week that turned out to be full of stuck up wine sniffers. We ate all their cheese though - so there! He also took me to a concert at Ramshead later in the month. It was a Beatles tribute band called 1964 The Tribute. They are excellent and it’s a fun show. I am sure Lindsay will tease me about seeing my “favorite band”. We had a nice time though.

Are you bored to TEARS yet??? I’m telling you…I’m boring now. I guess I have just been sorting my life out for the past couple of years and now I can at least safely say that things are really good. I’m making good money, getting good grades…my future’s so bright….well you know the rest.

Ok, funny story to close with? Ok, twist my arm. :) Last summer Dave and I went to the ocean for a couple of days just to hang out and get away for a day or so. His family had a couple of condos rented for the week and invited us to join them for an overnight stay. So we did. Well once we got there, Dave and I decided to head down to the Boardwalk for a stroll and to indulge in some of our favorite things (i.e.: watching weird people, playing in arcades, reading ridiculous t-shirts, drinking copious amounts of booze and indulging in more caloric intake that is necessary in one week, let alone 3 hours). So at one point we decided we would go to the arcade and check things out. May I also add that we were completely sober at this point? So Dave plays those “electronic drums” and everyone on the Boardwalk listens and stops and it’s very neat. Then we play a little ski ball…and whatever else. As we are leaving, we see this “Strong Man” game where to play, you take this enormous hammer with a rubber mallet and you smack down on this round silver platform and the machine has little lights that rise to your level of strength (with increasing and insulting settings such as: Pip-squeak, You suck, You’re a Schoolgirl, That’s All You’ve Got?, My Grandmother Hits Harder, Marginally Strong, Freakishly Strong, Are You Sure That’s Just One Person Swinging The Mallet?) You get the idea. So naturally, we decided to mollify our competitive nature and play the game. Dave went first. I don’t recall what his rating was. I don’t recall much of that day before it was my turn, and I think this was a direct result of what you're about to read. I stepped up to swing and this is just a small tangent here, but there was this family of 5 that was hanging around the arcade and the dad was using the ATM and this one little kid (like 4 or 5) was so friggin annoying and was standing so close to us while we were trying to play this game and she would not move and her shitty parents wouldn’t tell her to move her dumb ass and so I had to wait like 5 minutes to even swing until they left. I hate people at the ocean. And eveywhere. Also I blame them for what was about to happen. I feel that for me to shoulder the blame entirely is insult to injury. Which bring us back to MY TURN. So I think this is a funny game and I just KNOW that I can hit it as hard as Dave. I just have to! So I raaaaaaaaaaaaise the hammer above my head and slightly behind my back so I can get my full power swing, and I lower that bad boy with every ounce of strength I have in me - because God knows, it’s important to use your strength for things such as this and not for emergencies or anything. So I feel the mallet connect with the metal and vibrate my hands, and then WHAM!!!!!!!!!!! From my perspective, I hit the machine, and then the MACHINE HIT ME BACK! Right in the nose! I’m imagining a red boxing glove coming out of nowhere and punching me in the face as some sort of sick Boardwalk joke. I MUST be on some kind of hidden camera show. I dunno though because I can’t think. I’m SURE that my nose has come off and that my hands to my face is the only thing holding my entire blood supply near to my body. My eyes are completely teared up and my head ….Oh my head!

So what really happened, you ask??? Dave could tell this story much better – but I will take a “whack” at it. The GD hammer was RUBBER and rubber bounces (as proven by The Nutty Professor). When I swung, I swung straight down from above my heads and not from over my shoulder. Although I am almost completely retarded for not expecting this, apparently my swing was straight and accurate. It hit that metal platform and bounced directly back into my face, straight on. As hard as I hit the platform, I am convinced, is how hard the hammer hit me in the face. But good news! I did not fall over…I remained standing. When I came-round, I went directly from crippling pain right into “Embarrassment Control” mode. Luckily enough, NO ONE saw this but Dave. At the very least, we are hoping that no one caught it on video because according to him, they would surely win $10,000 on America’s Funniest Videos. He handled it like a champ though. He did not laugh (initially) and was very concerned and then once the pain started to subside and the humiliation stopped burning through my every vein, we went for a beer at the Purple Moose and he proceeded to tell me how it was simply UNBELIEVABLE. Not only hilarious but just friggin unbelievable. Only me. You will be so surprised to know (as was Dave) that I didn’t bleed a single drop. I had a small scratch on my nose and a splitting headache. I didn’t even get black eyes or a broken nose or anything. I personally think this was some sort of miracle. He can attest to the fact that I hit my face HARD. Only me though, right? That’s your Laura Lee. Otherwise the trip was pretty low key. I did spill boiling hot butter all down the front of my shirt the next night in front of his whole family, but that’s just expected now, isn’t it?

I will leave you now. That was loooooooong blog. I will be back soon and I promise to keep my stories interesting and shorter. Ok, well I can promise interesting.

Later bloggies! Thanks for returning to me!

End of an Era: A Well-Deserved Tribute

Yoo hoo? Hi everyone!

I’ve been gone for a long time. It’s been almost a full year since my last blog entry. Perhaps I should actually reintroduce myself or have some sort of a showy “coming out” soiree like they do in the Deep South. “I do declayaaa!” I have really missed writing and even more so, I’m responding to the enormous outcry from you all to pleeeeeeeazzze blog again, oh great one! I hear your pleas and I have responded because…if nothing else, I am your most humble servant. Emphasis on the humble part. ;)

So yes…I’ve missed you. And hopefully you’ve missed me too. You deserve an update on the last two years of my life and I will give it to you, but not this time. This entry is dedicated to something very dear to me; it’s brought me out of hiding and cured me of my blogging refugee status. Here’s hoping at least. Today’s bloggsterpiece was inspired by some of the most creative writing and literary genius I might ever see in my entire lifetime. And I think you know me well enough by now to know that I’m not about to talk about some high-brow, granola-crunching, beatnik lit here. I implore you not to simply brush off my editorial today as “another one of her mad ravings” and trust that I’m one hip mama, even in my agedness, and I would never point you in the wrong direction.

If you had a galleon for every time you heard the phrase “Harry Potter”, you’d be a rich witch or wizard. You would of course be no where near as rich as JK Rowling, the author and creator of the Harry Potter series. This woman is larger than life. However, she is most deserving. There are too many millionaires (many times over) that walk this planet today; making more money that even MC Hammer could spend in a lifetime. And they’ve contributed squat to this planet and even less (than squat) to my life. Thankfully, Rowling imagined us a world to which we could retreat any time we desired. A world with magic we’ve all dreamed of making, whether it was while day dreaming, stressing, loving, or learning.

As you may have guessed, I have now finished the 7th and final installment of the Harry Potter series. I actually finished it at about 3:30am this morning. Pathetic, you say. But it has to be said, that there exists very few indulgences that I would stay up for almost three straight days just to finish! It was incredible. If I had it in me, I'd read it again today if it weren’t for an emotional exhaustion that has washed over me in its wake. Worry not! I’m no spoiler. I would never dream of blotting the experience for one who wanted an opportunity to sense the pure unadulterated fun that is indulging in Harry Potter.

JK Rowling is more than a writer, she is a creator and a teller of tales. The way she fashions her characters – all of them – captures some piece of you as an individual and makes you feel that much more real. A word, a sentence, a chapter is never just that. Every person, place, object and spell in her book is rooted with history, mythology, humor and sharp wit. Today I am gloomy that that this thing, this experience, this part of my life has come to a close. But she’s done a masterful job of leading us through 7 years in the life of Harry Potter and brought us to a fitting end. Although I am deeply saddened that it cannot go on forever and ever, I’m not sure if I would want it to. It was, essentially – perfect.

You may be thinking, “What a complete nutter she is!” or if you’re a witty one like Rowling you’d say I was nuttier than squirrel poo. And you’re right. I am a little crazy. I’m a lot of things. I am many versions of myself. And I am creative and compassionate and funny (and again…very humble!). And above all of these things, right now, I am inspired. Inspired to be the imaginative, entertaining woman I know I am for all of you. To put down my stories and ideas and ridiculous banter and hope that I too could one day inspire someone like the writing of JK Rowling has inspired me. The fact that this series is such a huge part of modern pop-culture may be a turn-off to some. Fads come and go….Beanie Babies, Pokemon, Barney, and for those of us who can go back in time a little…Cabbage Patch Kids and GI Joe. But innovations this extraordinary will live on forever. I will share these stories with my children and their children as well. They deserve to be enlightened and inspired as I have been. I can think of no greater gift than narratives.

Throughout the last decade, Rowling has taken us into a dimension of fantasy made entirely in her mind. It wouldn’t be far fetched to compare her to a literary god or creator…she created a world: a governing body, a language, a monetary system, a school, creatures, beasts, families, art and history. People will remember her notions like that of JRR Tolkien’s (add a bit of modern wit and humor). Seven years at Hogwart’s, brought us into the lives of her characters and we were them. They we’re our friends and companions and secret escapes. We experienced from afar their thoughts, their trials and tribulations, their love, devastation and fear. We grew up with them. She left no nook or cranny unexplored. A story was woven with very few things left unanswered. I have never read anything and felt such an incredible spectrum of true emotion as I have when reading these books. To me it is real. Now, before you go admitting me to St. Mungo's, please remember that I can be quite a passionate person who’s been known to partake in hyperbole. But it was real to me, in the sense that it was something that has been a part of my life for nearly a decade and I am an improved version of myself because of it.

People tease me all of the time and say what a huge nerd I am and chide me for loving what they essentially view as children's books, but I just can't imagine never having read them. They were so much more than that to me. I’ve experienced very few things in my life that have touched me so deeply and entertained me for as long as this series has. I’ve known marriages that were shorter than my bond with Harry Potter. ;) My point is that I am lucky to have known this delight and to have had the chance to dive into a great fantasy anytime I wanted. When I felt lonely, scared, tired, bored, broken-hearted and even when I was the happiest I’ve ever been in my life…it fit.

So thank you Jo, for giving me Harry. Thank you from all of us for the gift of your incredible imagination. It’s meant the world to me. That comfort and enchantment was there for me in both the best and worst of times in my life and if I have to be known as the biggest dweeb-muggle that ever walked the face of this planet for loving Harry, then so be it. He and Hermione and Ron (and the lot) were good friends to me, if being a friend means being someone who makes you laugh, comforts you, enthralls you and who is always there. All I have to do is pick up a book. Hands down, Harry Potter is one of my most favorite pastimes – it’s a part of me because it’s what moves me.

Now, I suppose I can give the Potter eulogy a rest since I’ve said it all (and then some). It’s the end of an era. If you haven’t read the series, I urge you to do so. If you “just couldn’t get into it”, I urge you to give it another go. As an intelligent, creative, funny woman I can promise you that you will grow to love the world she has created just for you. Instead of watching, “So you think you can drool” or “Big Brothel” or “American Imbecile” on TV this week, consider cracking open The Sorcerer’s Stone and treating yourself. You will never regret it.

Stay tuned for the “life update” blog that I promise to post. Those of you who’ve stuck with me through this oh-so-serious blog, thank you. Don’t worry, I’ll be back to acting inappropriate and simple in the very next entry. I just wanted to pay homage to something that in today’s world is a bright shining star!

Three cheers for Harry!