Oh Christmas Tree! Oh Christmas Tree...

....Da da de daaa dooo dooot doooooooo! I don't know the words to the rest of the first verse. :) Apparently no one does. No one I know at least. I don't know many people though, so...

I haven't been blogging much lately and I went and took a look at some of my old blogs and I realized that on one hand I got the excessive blogging under control, but on the other hand, where for art thou lauralee? I'm feeling stagnant in the creativity department, so let's see what we can do about that...

Prologue: 2005...WTF?!
It's been a hell of a year kiddies and I can't believe its the holidays again. Without being too morose, I will say that last year was practically unbearable. I felt like I must have been constantly surrounded by Dementors. I thought the life had been sucked out of me and I'd never be happy again. Christmas is funny ya know? It's so traditional, yet volatile. It can make me happy as I can be one year, and desperate for it to be over the next. Actually, let me clarify that...I think my holiday mood is circumstantial. Anyway, without dwelling...most of you know, last year was hard. But golly gee willikers, its been an amazing year! Lots of good and some really tough stuff too, but I can safely say that my life has had an 'Extreme Makeover'. And that homo-erectus, Ty, had nothing to do with it. It was all me baby.

So in the spirit of the holidays and the fact that this year I'm happy and hopeful and excited...I'm going to write an "Ode to the Christmas Tree" blog because, that's one of my favorite parts of the holiday; putting together the perfect tree. In the spirit of being Laura Lee, however, I will also pose my usual weird Jerry Seinfeld-esque theories as well as raising many foolish and rhetorical questions. :) It's my job.

The task of putting up the Christmas tree, makes for many interesting queries to ponder: Is erecting the Christmas Tree with someone else indicative of your ability to be able to work together on projects successfully? (and a chance to use the word erecting?) And to delve further, if you happen to constantly encounter snafus and tension in such acts as putting up the tree, is it possible that YOU are incapable of working well with others? Let's examine this in the context of "couples", shall we?

I'm happy to present this composition titled:

"Merry Christmas dammit! I love you but the tree is f*cking crooked!"

I haven't had a tree in 3 years and it's been lousy. Circumstances weren't prime to say the least. BUT, I love having a real tree. The smell, the way it looks when you've put all the lights on, the way I get to look at each and every one of my ornaments, one for every year of my life and "remember". That's just it. Every year I get to look at them and remember all the happy Christmases I've had. Some of my ornaments remind me of sad times, but either way, memories are treasures and mine are priceless.

The History...
This year, Nikki purchased "a high quality artificial tree at a very reasonable price." I'm going to have to quote her there because buying an artificial tree is something I've never been able to really grasp. So needless to say, I've never shopped the "synthetic tree market" for competitive prices, so I'll take her word for it. In my inflated opinion, unless its a health hazard to me (and were talking like BOILS or something), or harmful to someone in my family like a baby (and in some instances, a pet) then I want a real live tree! Though I must say that the pet clause has to be very extreme. Animals adapt very well to things like TREES...mainly due to the fact that ANIMALS ARE SUPPOSED TO LIVE IN THE WILD...so do trees, so under domestic circumstances, doesn't it makes sense that everyone would all just get along? Also, if I had a baby that got into everything (or two!), I suppose I'd consider it, but likely I would think, "Well if the baby pulls a real tree down on him/herself, they can sure as hell pull a FAKE one down on themselves and that's METAL!" So pretty much, I'm a real tree girl and always will be. I have no problems cleaning up the needles if they drop...everyday if need be. I'll water it. I'll even decorate it. In fact, you might even catch me turning towards it and praying 5 times a day. I worship the perfect tree!

But alas, no real tree at my house this year, which is probably just as well because now-a-days I'm never home and the tree might miss me. :) SO, I have to admit I sulked a bit, quietly, because I thought that was a dumb thing to be put out by. But there's a lot behind those feelings, you see. Like I said, I hadn't had a real tree (or any tree) in 2 years and that was a Christmas tradition with my family. It's ingrained in my very being. It makes me happy. I look forward to it all year long and I'm not even kidding. Not having a tree these past two years was sad. Without going too much into it, basically I wasn't in a happy home and I wouldn't have even brought a living tree into that place, let alone children or pets. So, this year, I was really looking forward to Christmas because I'm happy! Happier than I think I've ever been, or at least in a very very long time. That is AMAZING. It's also cause for celebration. So my friend DR (who is one of the reasons that I am very happy this year) offered to have a tree at his house and have it be "our tree". I cannot tell you how much this meant to me. I can't actually think of a more awesome gift. Proposing this idea, sums up everything I think and feel about the holidays. So I was really looking forward to doing this together. For the most part... ;)

Tree Trimming Tension...
I anticipated some "tree erecting tension" to be honest. We're still trying the ropes on doing projects together and this was a really good one to test our resolve I think. Harmless, but indicative maybe? Seems like a simple thing: buy the tree, get it home, put it in the stand, enjoy! But damn if it's not the biggest bitch getting that friggin thing in a MF stand every time! Maybe it's my stand, I don't know (zip it DR) haha, but this has been an issue for a long time where arboreal bliss and thelauralee are concerned. I was worried that we would bicker about how to get it in there, how to get it straight, who was going to do what, what was "the front", what was regulation size to be considered "a big gaping hole" in the natural flow of the branches, etc. ;) Plus, pine needles are called needles for a reason. They hurt dammit. This makes me a bit snippy, I'll admit. Not a fan of pain here...hence my penchant for OTC drugs.

In the End...
I'm pleased to report....we survived. Yey! The tree is fanfreakintastic. There were some tense moments. Some funny ones too. Some moments were funny to me and not to him AT ALL...and vice versa. The bottomline is that the tree is up and decorated and its the most beautiful tree I've ever seen. Ever. Maybe everything just seems that much better in his company, but regardless, this is truly the perfect tree.

Back to the secondary point and that is, Why DO people argue about how to get the tree up? I'm starting to think its just me, since no one can really help me substantiate this claim as of yet. I'll admit, part of the issue is that I tend to think that I am a good thinker in situations like that. I mean, give me the SAT and I probably would score "Forrest Gump" levels on that, but give me a tough stain, a broken piece of furniture, a broken pair of glasses, a ripped pair of pants, a nappy spot in the carpet where wax dripped down the dresser during you S&M rituals...you name it, I can fix it. I am just good like that. I can come up with excellent homeopathic cures also and I'm the over the couter queen as I've mentioned! I think part of it is that I just don't give up on those little problems and I try a lot of different things. Another part of it is because I want to do people favors and make them happy when they are frustrated, but also, I think I just have decent common sense when it comes to resolving little meaningless problems and issues (of a non-emotional nature). Maybe I'm wrong. Anyone who's ever disagreed with me or done a project with me might object, haha, but because I think I am good in those areas, I get controlling. I'm not always the best team player. I get set on my proposed solution and I want everyone to agree and help out willingly (and quietly, haha). So, it's hard for me to do projects with people sometimes. It was the same way with my last partner in crime. Be it the Christmas tree, grilling (by all mean do NOT tell that boy anything about grilling lest you suffer his wrath), hooking up electronics, etc., I think men, and Laura, just like to be useful and efficient and in charge. :)

The moral of the story...
I'm working on it. I have to bite my tongue a lot. It's an important lesson that I've unfortunately learned the hard way in many instances, but compromise and teamwork are GOOD THINGS. All people think differently from one another. This is an advantage, not a hindrance. Though supporting the tree with broken headphone wire tied to the curtain rod isn't exactly my preferred method of bracing the tree, ;) it doesn't mean it doesn't A) work! B) matter if its the BEST way or c) help make someone else feel like a problem solver too.

So, as always...I'm a work in progress. This project, and many others might have posed some challenges in "couples teamwork", but the outcome was perfect...so that's all that matters. :)

Thank you so much DR...I love our tree and I miss it all day long! Now let's see what i can so about rounding up a picture of "The Perfect Tree" for youz. ;)