Laura, and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.

<--That's me. Actually, that's a little boy named Alexander. He's the main character in "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day" by Judith Viorst. Nothing is going right for poor little Alexander on this particular day in his life.

From the moment he wakes up with gum in his hair, things just do not go Alexander's way. At breakfast, Alexander's brothers Nick and Anthony reach into their cereal boxes and pull out amazing prizes, while all Alexander ends up with is . . . cereal. The situation does not get any better at school, in fact it gets worse. No wonder Alexander wants to move to Australia! In Australia, everything is upside down, so maybe a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day can become a wonderful, terrific, really good day.

After school, Alexander encounters even more bad news when he visits the dentist and goes shopping for sneakers with his mother and brothers. And Alexander's father isn't at all happy with him when the boys visit his office and Alexander gets a little carried away with the new copying machine! This terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day is enough to make anyone want to go to Australia!

I loved this book as a child and I know my mother did too. It went right along with her sarcastic nature and her insistence that everyone on earth had it worse than I did, so buck up! Whenever something I thought was earth-shattering would happen, she would simply reply, "Awwwwww, sounds like you are having a terrible, horrible no good, very bad day." Even well into college...a bad day would elicit the same response from her.

So, mom? Bloggies? Let me just tell you: Today is one of those days for me. Today I woke up late (no gum in my hair but I wouldn't say my hair was altogether clean. I will leave it at that). I got hairspray in my eye, I fell down the stairs, I burned my hand on a 4000 degree bagel, I got fully dressed, only to find a ginormous hole in the ass of my nice black pants...and then I remembered; I'd brought home a slew of marketing materials from work to stuff at home last night that I needed to cart back into Washington DC!

I can't seem to get all my work done and I'm stressing, so I decided to bring it home. Last night I fell asleep with Errors & Omissions Liability Insurance brochures strewn all over me...drooling onto Eligibility Questionnaires galore. So, I had to pack up these heavy boxes and strap them to this crappy half-working dolly and then get down the steps and out the door. I'm a baby about doing that on my own, so I pouted a bit that I actually had to carry these boxes up and down the stairs, pack them, hoist them into my car, drive to the train station and then walk the distance to the station, down the stairs and back up them again. Ha. Little did I know, that would have been how it would have worked out had the process been flawless! So, get to the auxillary lot thats 3000 miles away from the station, and there's no parking :( Last week I parked on the lawn of the Knights of Columbus' lot (same one) and they left me a scathing note that was telling me what a piece of disrespectful crap I was for parking on their lawn after they graciously extend the use of their lot to commuters and workers, being that they are among them and understand. Thing is...the letter has no cursing, no mean remarks, nothing terrible. It just played on the typical Catholic guilt of a estranged member. Damn you Knights of Columbus! Damn you!

The note worked. I've felt terrible ever since and I couldn't bear to do it again! Especially since tonight they meet and they would likely catch me! ;) If it were a Tuesday, I'd have gotten over the guilt a lot quicker. I needed a space. So I pulled into a BUSH at the end and parked. I wondered how they would feel about the desecration of their bush (heh...I said 'bush') over the desecration of their grass? I didn't get to find out.

I lugged the big heavy dolly out of the trunk and onto the ground. I'm of course sweating at this point profusely. Luckily, all of the boxes have fallen off the dolly and the tape job I'd done was ripped off. I put it on the ground and start taping again. Then, I run to the train and I am hauling ASS. I don't want to miss the train...its the last one until 9:30am! Halfway through the regular parking lot, my boxes fall off the dolly and bust open. Now I've got brochures all over the ground, that I stuffed the night before. And? What could be a pretty bad thing to happen now? Yes...wind and rain. It's raining now and my brochures are now wet and blowing around. Then, I see the train pull up and then, pull away. I sat there picking up brochures, crying. Yes, I didn't care, I just cried. So I gathered what I could, went back and got my car, came back and picked the rest up and then drove in bumper to bumper traffic to New Carrollton to catch the Metro. That wasn't as bad, though I am fairly sure everyone hated me for the size of my enormous and haphazardly packed and mentally ill taped dolly. 10:10am I roll through the door at work :( Then the shit just hits the fan here.

I'm so tired and a wee bit cranky and I have a ZILLION packets to stuff. Waaaa! If anyone is feeling friendly and wants to help me tonight, I would be so thankful. :) Holla.

So anyway, this so far has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. BUT...things are looking up. I have leftover Chinese food for lunch. Mmmmm MSG. :)

Hope all is well with you guys. Check out a short version of Alexander's tale here: AATTHNGVBD I think he might of had it a tad worse than I did :) What do you think?