My aunt sent this link to me. Originally I thought, oh haha, that's cute, a mad lib...Ill do it later. But then I just figured, what the heck Ill do it now :) I have time to spare...I'm procrastinating, so natuarlly I welcome this "must do" task. So maybe its the fact Im a little sleepy or just a big goof, but this letter had me laughing. Here is the link: Dear Santa
Here's how mine turned out. Feel free to posts yours in my comment section! Happy Holidays!
To: Santa ClausNorth Pole, Earth
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Dave's Office party. It was Lindsay who spiked the punch with too much moonshine. I can't help it if I drank 35 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like farts.
I thought it was funny when I put Nikki's pashmina on my head and danced the funky chicken on the chaise lounge while singing `Mony Mony'. I didn't mean to break Dave's programable vibrator and don't know why Dave would accuse me of prostitution.
I don't remember calling Ryan T's wife a chubby goat---even though she looked like one with purple eye shadow and puce lipstick!
And when I threw up on Heather C's husband's left nut, it was only because I ate too much of that garlic hummus.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my dirt bike through my neighbor's cellar. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a boney gorilla and have me arrested for flashing!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all hairy and horny. And I'm really not to blame for any of this retarded stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and queerly yours,
Laura (Really a nice girl!)
P.S. It's only 69 bucks!
Here's how mine turned out. Feel free to posts yours in my comment section! Happy Holidays!
To: Santa ClausNorth Pole, Earth
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Dave's Office party. It was Lindsay who spiked the punch with too much moonshine. I can't help it if I drank 35 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like farts.
I thought it was funny when I put Nikki's pashmina on my head and danced the funky chicken on the chaise lounge while singing `Mony Mony'. I didn't mean to break Dave's programable vibrator and don't know why Dave would accuse me of prostitution.
I don't remember calling Ryan T's wife a chubby goat---even though she looked like one with purple eye shadow and puce lipstick!
And when I threw up on Heather C's husband's left nut, it was only because I ate too much of that garlic hummus.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my dirt bike through my neighbor's cellar. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a boney gorilla and have me arrested for flashing!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all hairy and horny. And I'm really not to blame for any of this retarded stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and queerly yours,
Laura (Really a nice girl!)
P.S. It's only 69 bucks!
3 Comments:
okay, i havent read yours yet and i'm gonna post mine before i read it. so here goes:
Santa Claus
North Pole, Earth
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Laura's Office party. It was Divya who spiked the punch with too much hot apple cider with rum. I can't help it if I drank 7 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like almond.
I thought it was funny when I put John's banana hammock on my head and danced the cha-cha on the gossip chair while singing `Let's Go to Bed'. I didn't mean to break Laura's sonic flosser and don't know why Laura would accuse me of crime against nature.
I don't remember calling Greg's wife a robust llama---even though she looked like one with crimson eye shadow and emerald green lipstick!
And when I threw up on Ash's husband's collar bone, it was only because I ate too much of that soft shell crab.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my vespa scooter through my neighbor's gutters. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a moist mountain lion and have me arrested for slander!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all wrinkled and uptight. And I'm really not to blame for any of this fluffy stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and gracefully yours,
Heather (Really a nice girl!)
P.S. It's only 76 bucks!
after reading mine, i am sure yours is funnier. so i'll go read it now.
muwah!
okay, yeah, yours was better. next time i'm going with my inclination and keeping the mind in the gutter. that's what i get for being pure and innocent....a shitty christmas mad lib. HA!
OMG, I literally almost choked on my lunch (really tough dried out leftover bistec encebollado). Anyway, I think I'll pass on this one! Moist mountain lions and boney gorillas? And I see HH is still fiending for my famous hot apple cider with smooth n mellow rum!
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